wonder will Dewey r-run f'r Prisidint?" said Mr. Hennessy. He'd be th' gr-rear candidate. Tdinuaw whether he's a Dimmycrat or " Protestant, but I'd vote "No, Cousin George is not a candidate, Divvil a bit of it. A rayporther finds him up th' roof iv a battleship ilivatin th' degraded Philippeens higher thin Gilderoy's kite, an' says he: 'Admiral,' he says, will ye r-run f'r Prisident?'
'F'e Prisident of th' United the rayporthor. see mesilf,' says Cousin George, pointing' a long gun ata church, 'I'seemesilfguin' home to that happy but excited country, and galloping' a inet to another nailing' mesilf,' he saya, inch shell at our th? Naytional Association i iyfactherers iv imbammed beef that they're presarvin' th' theaditions ly Wash'nton an' Lincoln,' he says, whin they can't preserve cow meat so that i'll last through " hard winter,' he says, 'Catch me singing' *They'se No Place Like Home" in Boston, an',' lo says, "*They'se No Place Like Home to Get Away Fr'm" in Wash'aton,' he says 'Th' tariff?' says he, 'Th' only looties L know about is those,' he says, *T owe to myself to paste yon small but fiery ruflyans,' he says. 'Th' money question with me is will I yet uh' salary that gues with th' now job or won't 1?" he says, 'I'm here,' he says, an' the beau-chous blue sky 1¥ our happy colony is over me,' he says, an' I'd rather have me fellow-citizens that is to be, if they live, as mark fr me," he says, thin to be mark thun an' th' likes iv thun at home,'
says. 'Say to th' good people in th' United States,' he says, that I'm doing well where Tam,' he says, 'There bein' nawthin' Left on the sea.' he says, 'I'm pursooin ' land operations on me own hook,' he says. 'I've just repelled a cavalry charge,' he says, an' to-morrow I'll have me ships thrained to climb threes and drive out sharpshooters,' he says. 'I'm th' boy orator iv the Pasig,' he says, an' I' speech ivory five m speech 8 grgreat hit wi h th' coloured vote,' he -ays. 'I recs th' honour ye as a riprisiutative rayporther have offered mie,' he says, but' he says, prefer, that some wan else shud have it,' he says. ' Besides,' he says, "mebbe if I' wanted it I cuddent get it,' he says."—Peter Dunne in the Chicago Journal.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.