These are, by the way, the only anti-foreign planks in omlah's platform. She is an enthusiastic pro-. Even when holding to the Chinese viewpoint or fashion, she will ack-knowledge the superiority of the foreign. Whereupon if we uphold the Chinese, ensues a politeness unrecorded beyond the comic supplement of Alphonse and Gaston. marriage, for example. Chinese fashion, it is devoid of kiss-kiss, nice talked-talked, and strangely enough its bleakest feature would be a sunny slope to many western wives. "Suppose Chinese man go out, no talked what side go, what time come back. Suppose wamchee go, go. Wanchee stop homeside, stop homeside."" But his stopping does not enliven his charcoal hearth. It would seem that if there were one thing worse than his going out, leaving no prospectus of his travels behind, it is his staying in- For then he chows, and smokes to chow again. His conversation is brief but unijit concerns "what thing uppose wife catchee sick, maskee. No catchee better, maskee. Catchee better, can do." That old law which an American anarchist declares should never have been passed, that old law of supply and demand, has a bitter significance for the Chinese woman, For that reason she never ventures to suggest that she would go abroad with this silent one, nor that she would converse on other thoughts than chow. For "suppose wife no like, maskee. Plenty girlee can catch."
Tue Enrrancine THeme or Denise.
But marriage is a dreary subject in comparison with death. For once upon a time all man savvy what time he make die. And thereby hangs a tale, or rather tails. It seems that in days of yore all Chinese wore a tail quite like a dog's. And this tail for practical purposes, as you will see, was divided into 10 parts, by nature white. As a man's mortality drew toward immortality, however, these white parts, one after the other, turned yellow. When one saw that nine-tenths of his tale was told, he knew that within two months he would be anxiously watching the fires on earth for money from home. This barometer of one's years, like ideals and riesha rugs, was by cunning man exploited. When one saw that five of the 10 parts were yellow, he said to himself and others, "How fashion, I work. Little time, make die. More better I chowchow." And like the little red hen, he did. Sometimes he chowed for years before the prophecy came true or his family's chow or patience gave out. And so it was that the Number One Topside Jossman, seeing that a little knowledge is a dangerous anesthetic, making his people insensible to incentive, responsibility, and curiosity, sent a messenger to earth with a basket and shears as an author sends ai heroine into the garden, to cull those tails.
This reminded us so aptly of Darwin that before we knew our danger, we were sinking to a sciolist's death in evolution, When we "took" evolution in college, we felt that Darwin might have expressed himself in briefer vein. But when we attempted to translate him into pidgin, we marvelled at his conciseness.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.