A painstaking amateur collector of statistics has discovered that £3,000 worth of time is wasted by Melbourne folk, owing to the fact that the telephone directory is not indexed. He complained in duo course to our Postmaster General, who is the offiviul of the dep rtment, and who has promised to rectify the omission.
"Oriel" seizes on the opportunity to parody the subject in the Argus."
My dear," said the amateur statistic ian, "I have made a great discovery, which will, I hope, very much reduce the difficulty we find in making both ends meet."
"Oh, John, Ido hope 40," said his wife; "will it bring in money at once, or will it take time "It will not bring in money at all, my Jove," said the statistician; "but it' will prevent it going out. It has been proved that the time spent by telephone subscribers in looking up names in the direetory costs £3,000 a year. I have worked out various domestic matters on the same lines, and at a moderate computation I estimate that the following are avoidable items in our annual expenditure:—Calling for hot-water for shaving, £4.17.9 per annum; delays in connection with breakfast, £6.8; good-byes prior to catching morning trains, £6.13; occasional attendances by myself on the baby, £75 general conversation on frivolous topics, £1742. If you will endeavour to cut! down these items as far as possible you will find it much easier, I think, to manage with your present allowance." The young wife said it seemed about as convincing as most statistics, and she would seo about it; but she spent 3/73 worth of time in tears after he had gone to town.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.