are they really scenes from home, Mother?" asked little Damiu, fas the news reel started to unfold Jami, you are not to ask que tions," replied his mother, "I came here to be entertained by the pictures, not by your conversation."
But how does one tell that they were taken at-home?" persisted the youngster. "The people in them look {just like the people in Shanghai, "Can't you see that everyone has an umbrella raised?" she snapped.
"But does it always rain in England, Mother?"
Yes, dear, if we are to believe the news reels, It seems always to be raining where sports are going fon. Now, you are to sit perfectly quiet and "not bother others with your questions.
He found it possible to obey for precisely three minutes,. when he, blurted out:
"Why does that_man work his. Jmouth and remove his hat so often, Mother?
"He is a prominent personage, my son, one in the public.eye. knows that he does not look human on the film, s0 he makes a speech to the camera and works to show that he is alive."
"What are those aeroplanes doing, Mother?"
"They have just come from the North Pole, dear.
"How does one know that they have just come.from the North Pole, Mother?"
"Gne doesn't, Damiu," answered Mother. "The men in the aeroplanes say that they have just come from the North Pole, and that seems to settle it."
"But why. does the orchestra pla} 'Under The Tropic Moon,' if they have just come from the North "Because it's a cinema orchestra: A cinema orchestra must always play something not in the least related to what is going on in the picture, Now do be quiet and let mother enjoy the afternoon's feature, there's a lamb."
"What is the afternoon's feature about?" he demanded, ignoring finished, Damju. It-will begin as.
aren "What are all those names on thie screen, Mother?"
That. is a list'of everyone whom the makers of the picture have employed since they started in the "en tha in the pict joes that man in the picture make such awful faces, Mother? Has he tummyache?"
"Ho* is a. great actor, darling, and can register every known' emotion, including Limburger Cheese, The -Indy's presence has affected him_ greatly," 3 "But what is the lady doing there, his room, Mother?"
"She has made up her mind to very-wicked, and is paying him visit"
"Then why has she" e6ime out in such a heavy rain, to pay a visit? 'It appears to be a cloudburst.' she has decided to be i i, dear. Wickedness and seven inches of rainfall go hat in hand, in the pictures, No one can be real devilish, if the sun is out. The lady, you will observe, is dress sed in a neat suit anid is searing a modest hat that cost not more than $60. This proves that she is an onest waiking gail. In the next. scene, you will see her sewing machine, at which she labours ever since the man she is visiting caused +her to lose $254,926.03."
"But if she la-an waiking gail, Mother, why Kas she made up her mind to be very wicked?'
"It would not be a proper scenario, Damiu, if she didn't. She will be rescued in the nick of time, Just you watch,"
"Where are they now, Mother?"
"On a desert island, dear. All honest waiking goils who decide to be very wicked and are rescued in the nick of time, always land somehow on a desert island, They can be saved from being wicked only by a man in an aeroplane, The aeroplane then conveniently goes phut directly over a desert island."
"But how comes the man whose aeroplane is wrecked to know all about building a hut on a desert island, and how to make a savoury stew of paradise fish with only a knife and a pawn ticket, Mother "By regularly reading the magazines for ladies, darling, especially the Useful Hints.'"
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.