To the Editor of the "Norru-Cama Dairy News."
Sm,—The issue of the Gazette of the 29th instant, suggests a possible alleviation of the present famine in decent films in Shanghai. We hail with delight the release of a series of Municipal activity films, but one very important caution should be borne in mind, viz, let the films show sidelights on Municipal activities which the Ratepayers wish to see, and not merely be confined to those which the Council would prefer them to see We would venture humbly, with our hat in our hand to suggest the lines of the first night's entertainment, but before so doing would advise that "Fatty Arbuckle" and Snub Pollard" be retained as expert advisers, as experience has taught us that though the local Administration is often screamingly comic, it is never intentionally so, and we further suggest that it is quite superfluous to screen the tragic side of Municipal activities.
The type of film which would appeal to the Ratepayers would be something on these lines, and we are altruistic enough to propose musical selections which could be rendered by the Municipal orchestra during the performance. Start with the Municipal offices in building; eight reels could be devoted to this fascinating subject, "close-ups" of Architect. and Chinese Contractor. Caption for eighth reel "Ain't they never a'goin' to finish it, Dad?" (Band, "A few more years shall roll.")
Then a reel depicting a meeting of the Educational Committee, showing the three members present and the one absent. (Band, "Where is my wandering boy tonight?'"'), The aforesaid three experts exuding brain perspiration over the strenuous task of raising school fees. A further reel showing the absent member, extremely upset by the Report on Municipal Schools, so far unpublished, whose deplorable absence has been caused by his inability to grasp the system of numbering the streets (Band, "T've been roaming.") Show his four hours fruitless search for No. 18 Nanking Road and bring reel to a conclusion with his melancholy end in one of the P.W.D. "Booby Traps" (Band, "Who Killed Cock Robin.")
The 11th reel could be devoted to the much appreciated activities of Fire Chief Pett. Start with a friendly cocktail with Mr. Wilkinson at the Club. Then depict his amateurish dramatic gestures of Grief and Horror at the deplorable condition of the booking office at the Lyceum (Band, Keep the Home Fires Burning.") Following this Mr. Pett returning at full speed to write his report. Finish with Mr. Pett departing on six fire engines to the tender for Woosung, with the A.D.C. Committee sobbing on the jetty.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.