Classes for Candidates Now that we have three absolutely new candidates for election to the Municipat Council, they will require to be instructed' in the esoteric 18 relating to the government place as Shanghai, Ever Ready. in the public interest, Parenthesis will endeavour to do this best for them. Sapajou indicates thi mise en scone, though the person taking the role of teacher, ts changer In Parenthests:—Good morning, boys. The Boys:—Good morning, dear teacher; good morning.
Now the lesson this _morn-if is on the subject of the Shang-hal Municipal Council. Does any-tone present know what that is?
(Complete and devastating silence)
'Ah, I thought you wouldn't, 1 don't rightly Know myself. 'If it @id_not walk about, T should be Inclined to think it' is an_ oyster, because it can't sing, doesn't: talk, and there 1s no very real evidence that it thinks, Anyhow we'll leave that point for discussion later. Little Wilfved:—But tencher, what do when we get on the \P—What you're told, my lad, what you're told, That is, of course, If you ever are told "anything. The chief work of the Council Is to settle Issues, Alfred" O'Connell:—But what's an issue?
WPA issue ig something, which is raised. Thus someone writes into the Council and asks "Why. are" Whelks Weary?" 'That Immediately becomes an issue. 'The Council refers the matter to the appropriate department for a report. Until the report Is received the matter is in abeyance, but When' it Is received, It is found that whelks are weary because the Chinese factory law is not applied the Settlement, From that moment the issue becomes changed into a problem.
Egbert:—But what's a problem LP:—A problem is something which has to be solved. Chinese authorities point out that the fa tories in which whelks get weary fire not inspected, and demand that they" shall' be, So what happens next?
Little Wilfred:—Well what happens? IPs—The matter is referred to the Secretary General, and he decides that it should be sent to the Consular Body. This is technically Kenown in authoritative eirelos as "Passing the Buck." The Consular Body, a set of very charming gentlemen, who like having bucks passed to them, decide that the particular law Invoked cannot be applied in the Settlement, and sits back contentedly holding the buck, which can't be passod any further, Eqbert:—Then really nothing LP.:—Excellent, my boy, you show such promise that if you don't become chairman of the Council Ina short while, my grey chairs will descend in sorrow to the rave. itt. Witeed:—Welt, torcher, what about this Tifeng Road business f—That, Wilfred, was a case tu which the Council vindicated Hy authority. Some very naughty Chinese, and Chinese can be 0 naughty, refused to pay the muni cipal rates.
Rqbert:—What are rates?
LP:—Shut up, don't interrupt when I'm talking. Now, if the Council doesn't got the rates, it has no money.
Little Wilfred:—Then what do they do s—Spond it, my boy, spend Eigbert:—Well, 1 think' that's silly, spending money you haven't gol. LP.:—Egbert, I'm pained to the quick to hear you say the Council I silly. More reverence, my boy, for your masters and pastors As T'was saying the Chinese in Tifeng, Road did not pay their rates, so the Council blockaded them. Then a crisis occurred.
Little Wilfred:—But, teacher, what is LP:—A very natural question, my boy. A crisis is something you hope will pass over. You see the Chinese authorities butted in fand claimed that the rates should be pald to them. So then there was a problem to be solved. Eqbert:—And what was the solution? IP:—It was very. simple. The Council, conceded "a principle.
agreed that the Chinese authorities should collect the rates, and hand them over to the Council. That is what Is called a compromise. Little Wilfred:—But didn't the Chinese authorities win?
LP:—Of course they did. They ways do when they force 9 com promise.
Alfred O'Connell:—But_ why dor they settle the Outside" Roads Question once and for all?
LP:—That would never do. Why. Hf questions were solved as you suggest they should be, there would be no documents to put in the Council's files. And Councils, you know must always have Socuments. They are useful to muse the permanent officials. And do any of you know what permanent officials ar (Complete and devastating silence as before)
I did not expect you would.
ent officials are people who the ways of spending money which the Council cannot collect. Little Wilfred:—It all sounds very interesting, but why can't we read all this in the Press LPs—Ah, that Is because the Press as gone to a place which was suggested a long time ago.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.