Dear LP.—From Brussels to the field to Waterloo! But unfortunately for history, it could not do its stufi—give its return performance—under the circumstances. The thing went wet, there being too much water and too little "loo-loo" (brains) in certain directions, and Blucher coming in on the wrong side and Napoleon refusing to budge from Rome; while the Hessians, hitherto so obliging to the whistle of John, refusing to come into the picture altogether. So the flop, Then again, the "big stick" (which seems to run as a predilection in certain families), was never an instrument of persuasion to be used in contact with china,—or pieces, not peace, is the result. In the meanwhile, the little dog laughed to see such fun and the spoon ran away with the crockery!
That's all folks! With apologies to "In Parenthesis."
'TOUCHSTONB, Shanghai, Nov. 23.
Yeah! We've got wisps of straw in our hair, too!—LP, Wanted to Rent Dear LP. a tale of woe J heard to-day, upset me so; Two little fleas, (she a bride) Evacuated from Wayside, Far and wide they both did roam, The little pair could find no home. At last they found a tabby cat? Climbed on him and took a flat; Furnished it from tail to whiskers With innumerable friskers.'
When alas alack aday, Poor old 'Tabby' passed away: Their family had grown so large They thought to sail upon a barge, But all the little teasy easy, Were commandeered by some Chinesy." He says that if they're very good, He'll train them all for Hollywood: Dress them in a fluffy skirt, Teach them how to jump and firt, With every Tom, and Dick, and Harry, See that they correctly marry. Now 'Papa' suggested he'd retire From active life, so sent a wire, Telling me this tale so sad, Inferring he'd be really glad 1f I would help them find a house, Not a cat or a 'Micky Mouse' Somewhere really safe and snug. (I nearly offered them my rug) My puzzling mind was im o fog? Till all at once, I thought, a dog Without a flea, cannot be happy! T'U rent a place in some nice chappy. Help me LP, if you please, To find a doggy for these fleas, Then contentment they will find, Leaving The Girl He Left Behind,
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.