Wuen T read about some of the bills that keep our Senators deadlocked for days, I can't help thinking' that if that's all they've got to argue about, we must be in pretty good shape over here.
It kinda reminds me of the time my cousin was engaged to a girl down home. We all thought he was pretty lucky to a gettin' such a fine girl. but the night before they were married, he Went over to see her and with face pale'and drawn in worry. he said, "Audry, there's somethin' that's been worrying' me to death! I think we ought settle it right now because if it comes up in later life, it's liable to ruin our future happen You're genua hate me for askin' this, but I've just got to know."
Then he looked her in the eye and said, "Audry, do you squeeze a toothpaste tube from the top?"—By Bob Burns, Courtesy TraveLLERs for the mining town of Fla Fon, Manitoba, usually snatch four hours sleep in a hotel at Hudson Bay Junction while awaiting departure of the Canadian National northbound train.
On a winter morning as the engine driver gave his last warning toot to call commercial men from the hotel, one was observed to rush from the hotel, his coat tail flapping in the frigid wintry air, In one'hand, he carried his travelling bag and in the other a white porcelain water jug of the type invariably found on washstands in country hotels.
As he neared the train, the conductor shouted, "Hey, you've got the hotel's crocker:
know," came the reply, "but my teeth are frozen in this darned jug."
Obligingly the Canadian National trainman thawed out the teeth, and the hotel got the water jug back before the train departed.
Court Jesters "Tue entertainment committee has the letter and in court," said the secretary of a club recently at Clerkenwell County Court, E.C.
"Then," said Mr. Registrar Friend, "let the committee come forward—if there not too much of it."
One solita short and thin. stepped forward amid a roar of laughter from those in the court.
"Well, Mr. Committee." invited the Registrar, "tell us' all about it."
Counset, at Wood Green, N.; Did you go for a holiday last year?
Witness: No, I went to North Wales, Counsel at Lewes Assizes: Don't you consider that the great contribution the Americans have made to the happiness of the world has been in plumbing?
Mr, Justice Graves - Lord: The Americans might have a different view!
—"Herald."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.