Binks "Do you know, I find it difficult to remember the ages of my children."
Profeisor Brown: "I have no such trouble. Iwas born twenty-three hundreds years after Socrates, my wife eighteen hundred years after the death of Tiberius Caesar, our son John two thousand years after the entrance into Rome of Tiberius Sempronius Gracchus for the re-enactment of the "lege> Liciniae" and our Amanda fifteen hundred years beginning of the Folkwandering—that is perfectly simple, you see."
Margate's Benefactor Dr. Russell, whose recommendations of sea-water made Weymouth and helped to make Brighton, had a rival in Dr. John Letisome, F.RS., a member of sixteen Universities.
Although he cannot be called the maker of Margate he earned everlasting merit by establishing the Sea-bathing Infirmary there for 250 poor patients.
"A. person of infinite benevolence, he looked on life as a very solemn Business. Indeed, his sole lapse from seriousness was the writing of his own facetious epitaph ances, the Crab was the second, 'After Wat there. was long' pause irhat™ somes next?" "asked the teacher "Mickey, the Mouse blurted a mall boy, tu desperation, Debased Currency "Tau about the old joke of the absent-minded professor." said. Jones in the club the other day, "why, a friend of mine is the most -absent~ minded person you ever met."
"Well," said Smith, "I suppose doesn't matter so long as it doesn't hurt him or anyone else."
Jones smiled quietly.
"It hurt him to-day," he said. "He swallowed sixpence, "and gave the j{Bus conductor @ cough-drop for his fare." one Astray Tue curtain rang down on the pantomime, and the artistes retired their dressing rooms.
"Did you see the lovely bunch of roses handed to me over the foot lights?" said the principal boy.
"But they were meant for the prin-said the fairy princess How do you know that?" asked the principal boy sharply..1 was with her in the forist's {when che ordered them," explained Tee to the Eskimos Voice Over Phone—"Are you th buniety Slane-bile sales manager who sent tha salesman to my ofo {o'selt'me your blankety—™ ties hnnnger—es, es, Bu, inv dene man, wy?"
Voicen'Weall, 1 gave orders to all sal 1" adit noone privat ole, and your man wes' Becotent tht they were forced 0
"Simi Sie Saniitsinht radeship survives in Cambriage.
Vihaj, Maharala Jam" Saheb of "Ranji" it was, who really lid the Newandger. scot. a2. x<s2-BY foundations for the *Ieg-theory," for Roland Wild. With a Foreword his Highness Maharaja Jam shu he was the first player seriously to Digvijaysinndt of Nawangar. Rich defeat the bowlers by standing well Cowan, London. 18/" into his wicket, with the "two-eyed stance." The wily bowlers of that Colonel nis Highness Shu Sir day sent him full, tosses, to tempt Ranjitsinhj Vibhajl, "Maharaja Jam him to hit, and he obliged them, Sahib of Nawanagar, ces, one, kerr. Not a. soul. within" Great except that'he hit 50 hard and with such' splendid placing that the Britain who at any time had known catches for which they worked him or seen him ever would attempt seldom materialized. "The fast master that imposing array of bowlers—and prominent amongst titles, for to wildly enthusiastic them was Jones of Australia—bowled hundreds of thousands he always, was (Jost angle and. just "Rang he for "Ranji's" leg stump, but the only comment was that the batsman him-Siways.-wil be in their memories. self was inviting trouble. Once it "Ranji of, course, Is synonymous was put to him:—"Dangerous! Very dangerous! What would happen it Posted that his biography wou with rit, "and it mht clem more than a rood of his you missed the ball?" The answer was terse and to the point. "When Schievements on the cricket eld.
Not surprisingly, the. great majority I miss the ball T expect to be out such bowling, "Ranji" Jor the host of his admirers cannot considered an think' of their idol as any but a stroke, and it was the, smiling young Indian gentle-the one that made most of his runs, man' in flannels; "Ranji" in the full This was the leg-glide, Walting till Blory of the ceremonial habiliments tually felt the bail on his bat, of a ruling Prince of an important Indian State, or "Ranji" in the role he made a lightning twist with his steel wrists and the ball was away of a determined autocrat changing the boundary, passing between the the whole face of that State and the fleldsmen. "He even treated balls on whole lives of its people, is a per-the off-stump in this manner.
Sonage not so easily conceived. Yet Once at Bexhill, where the pitch It is a fact that "Ranji's" greatest was unprepared and bumpy, it had claim to fame comes not from the fericket eld, unless it be said—and been agreed that there should not be can be said with emphasis—that, any' fast bowling. However, Lockwood came on and bowled' at his having for so many years played usual "pace. Though Murdoch the game of cricket as ea few men had "done before him, and so few protested, and the professionals ran away from the bowling, "Ranji" since, he continued to the end of his life to "play cricket" as the term batted unperturbed to make sixty in 35 many minutes, and it was. then Is used to describe a good and a the expression ws Aicked fours off cricket does come largely into his biography, and Mr.
Wild tells a host of delightful with anecdotes connected therewith, and Sahib when he became a ruler. of many incidents in his career at 'There had been stormy times in his Cambridge, which show him to young days, and he was dish ave been' one of the most popular undergraduates, thoroughly accept-merited by his father. Only {able in all circles, without a spot of student of Indian politics could pro-Veoncelt in his make-up, the friend fosse to know why, of to understand I that followed. However, as. soon jot anyone who would be his friend, as "Ranji" could think for himself and a whole-hearted believer "in the hho set to work seriously to regain dea that a young man should get his rights. He was foiled time after all the possible fun out of life, It might spoll the reading of the book time, but he had good and powerful to narrate too many of these friends and a tremendous determi-anecdotes, but there is one really nation of his own, Fortunately for 00d one in connection with a him, deaths gave him perhaps better cricket' tour in America, when opportunities to win his throne than "Ranji" took over his own team, It there might have been had an occan be imagined how the New York cupants remained. There came a reporters, who seize upon almost vacancy just at a time when he every visitor in the hope of squeezing had serious hopes of his claim being recognized. The rajput princes were some "copy" out of him, would Jeading them jump at such a colourful figure a2 Singh. It "Ranji" He, always ready to oblige, is recorded that the old warrior, responded cheerfully and gave them ways a direct dealer, marched into plenty of news, but New York rethe highest councils of the Govern-porters are hard to satisfy and never ment and bluntly told the great mon hesitate to work their imaginations overtime. So it was that one of that there was but one thing to do, them coloured his story with the and that even his far-famed. loyalty astounding information that "Ranji would be shaken if his protege were cricketing performances were follow-not given his rights. 'There was Jet in India with even greater keen-dickering, but the ness than in England, and that, every led, and there time he made a century, his' father for Nawanacelebrated the occasion by sacrificing couple of slaves!
"Ranji" went virtually a pauper to To balance this there is a story of bankrupt State, but he had. that "Ranji" using his own imagination. most valuable of the world's assets There was a period when it wi staunch friends. Grand old. Sit leet Street fashion to, let vari notabilities edit papers for one day. stood by him. Ceremonial gifts had Pertab Singh and an army of Rajputs Herbert Campbell and Dan Leno to be made and they gave him jointly ran one for a day, 0, did things he would immediately require. Reneral Booth, and many others For the rest they lent him special Ranji" received such an' offer, and, trains, carriages, elephants, servants, as he always had fancied himself as troops, and generally saw to it that writer, he jumped at it, He tried he made his oficial entry" in the stylo they would have had for them: Vending cricketers to write articles ineectively it seems, to get various selves. He made that entry into a [For him, and, marder' to inspire @igease-ridden city in. which the them, he set them off one against daily death-rate was phenomenal, hattie, "telling "Archie. Mac-'That was when the Prince "played that FS. "Jackson was cricket." It would be too much to writing for. him, and Jackeon that tempt: to quote his biography for Young. man, yot type your comtm nveapital letters. In order to prepar the above for the printer t follow fle. polo' for. doing. this but, youn jab, you might Nave a The Smoke Beak "Nowri-Cunma Dany News Dean LP.
What do_ you think of enclosed sample of Shanghai English?
Hard to beat, aintit?
Shanghai Sept. 2.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.