Let em Have It "WELL," said the genial chairman to the guest of honour at the banquet, "shall we let them enjoy themselves a bit longer, or shall we have your speech now'
Weather Wisdom Wmzw faire's out, An' faire burns, It clu' be of An' cold boi turns.
Sort of "Now tell me, what animal has the greatest fondness for man?" animal?" repeated the angel child.
"Please, teacher, is woman an animal?"
Lucky Girl "Dip ye see in the paper, Jock, that a young wife made hersd' sick wi' eating chocolates her husband gave her?"
"Aye, lass, but whit about it?"
"I was only thinking how safe I am."
Silent Partner "You must miss your husband terribly when he's travelling."
,"Oh, no. I just prop a newspaper in front. his plate at breakfast and I don't know he's away."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.