Ham Customer: "Hair cut, singe, shampoo, moustache clipped, and beard trimmed, and—er—where can I put this cigar?"
Barber: "Would you mind keeping it in your mouth, sir? "It'll be. a. sort.of landmark."
Cricket A TRUE story from Ambala; Little Dorothy (rushing into the room agitated) to mother:—"Mummy, Daddy says that Mr. Hutton has smashed every record. What shall we do for the gramophone?" Gone "My wife has disappeared, inspector."
"When?"
"A fortnight ago."
"Why didn't you come to us before."
"I couldn't believe it, sir."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.