"THEN you admit that you struck the plaintiff with malice aforethought?" demanded counsel for the man charged with assault.
"You can't mix me up like that," replied the defendant, indignantly. "I've told you twice I hit him with a brick. There wasn't no mallets nor nothing of the kind about it—just a plain brick like any gentleman would use."
Heard in Court Macisrate: You are summoned for speeding. Have you anything to say in defence?
Motorist: Yes, I drive for pleasure only.
Witness: There was a lot of people about; 15,000 had been to the football match.
Counsel: Were they all on the crossing?
Witness: Not all of them; there wouldn't be room.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.