Is the scent in your dining room a preview of the main course?
Do you use paper napkins which blow under the table and turn dinner into a paper chase?
Do you do your menu planning at breakfast, in the middle of his morning bacon and eggs ask "How would you like a nice charlotte russe tonight?"
Do you serve roasts on flat platters thereby encouraging them to skid to the tablecloth?
Does the carving knife need resharpening?
Do you impress people that they are eating "left-overs?"
Does your good humor disappear when some-hing is spilled on the clean tablecloth?
Because you are on a diet do you force the entire family to eat salads?
When your husband expresses admiration for a new dish do you recite its entire recipe for him?
Are you in the habit of raving that your new concoctions are "too pretty to eat?"
Do you make your family relive each meal of past months in an attempt to remember to whom you owe invitations?
Are your dishes so fancy that he can't see what he is eating?
When you know that your husband is going to be home for a meal do you seize that opportunity to invite odd relations?
Fill water glasses right up to the brim?
Is your candlelight so dim that guests can't see what they are eating?
Do you use expensive wedding presents for everyday use and then fly off the handle when they get broken?
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.