Finish the Job Wire: John, what is that dreadful noise outside?"
Husband (rather deaf): "I have just put the cat out."
Wife: "Then, for goodness' sake go downstairs again and put its tail out as well."
Different Story ADMIRE Dr. Thomas immensely," said Mrs. Jinks. He's so persevering in the face of difficulties. that he always reminds me of Patience sitting on a monument."
"Yes," replied her husband, "but what I'm becoming rather alarmed about is the number of monuments sitting on his patients."
Have One Tuey were unloading cargo, part of which turned out to be cases of whisky. The bos'n in charge of the unloading, seeing this, shouted down the hold:
"Anyone down there got a corkscrew A voice answered: "Yes, bos n. I've got one, pooli, come up out of it, then," yelled the Good Weather Ow one of those slippery days we were favoured with last winter a middle-aged man dashed out of the station to board a stationary bus. He was half-way across the pavement when he slipped up and slid to the bus, his legs going under the step and his hands and arms above it, just as he might have sat at a table.
The conductor looked down at him and said:
"Turned, out nice again, ain't it? Tea or coffee, sir?"
No Seruples Ir is sometimes difficult to fill a jury-box with persons wholly unprejudiced regarding the case to be heard. During a certain trial the judge asked McGinnis if he had formed any opinion as to the guilt or innocence of the prisoner, Oi have not," replied the juryman.
Have vou any conscientious scruples against capital punishment?" was the next question.
McGinnis said emphatically: "Not in this case, yer honour."
Secrets Tun scene was at the monthly meeting of the Literary Society, and the discussion had reached a high level, 'The assembled company had split itself into groups of kindred souls, each group continuing the discussion on its' own lines.
Suddenly there was a lull, Thoughts had obviously become too deep for words, until out of the silence came the enthusiastic voice of a proud housewife revealing one of the secrets of her domestic success "Well, I always use soap-flakes."
This English Tue fact that Mr. John K. Caldwell, U.S. Consul-General in Tientsin, has thought fit to register a protest with the Japanese authorities detailing a list of grievances arising out of the blockade of the British and French Concessions, merely goes to show how closely interlocked are the interests of third party neutrals in China.
This statement is incorrect, says the "Peking Chronicle." There has been no protest from the U.S. Consul-General according to an explanation by the Japanese Ca late, but only a complaint.
The difference between "protest" and complaint" is just, as great as between arresting a man and merely apprehending him.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.