A max walked into a post office in the south of Scotland and asked for a stamp.
The gi said he was at the wrong counter, "Whit counter is this?" he asked.
"Oh, this is inquiries."
"Weel, whaur's the stamp coontei The girl indicated the correct place, and the man went and bought his stamp, But he wanted to get his own back on the girl, so, going up to her, he asked: "Will that letter get tae Embro the nicht?"
Oh, yes" he was a red, Ye're a big leeer, reply, "it's addressed tae Clackmannan Manna WALKING through the packing department, the head of a certain well-known London department store noticed a youth sitting on a packing-case whistling merrily.
After eyeing him awhile in indignant astonishment, the boss asked him how much he was paid a week.
"Sixteen shillings," said the lad.
The boss collected the money from the cashier, and returned to the boy.
"Here's your week's money," he told him; "I have no room for idler:
The boy took the money and vanished.
Next day the employer called up the foreman, demanding to know how jong the boy nat been with them.
"I don't know anything about him," came the consoling reply. "He has never been in our department. He was waiting for a parcel when you came along.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.