TrACHER—"Be brave and earnest and you will succeed. Do you all remember my telling you of the great difficulty George Washington had to contend with?"
Willie—"Yes, miss, he couldn't tell a lie."
Sit Down "Now that you've heard my opinions," said 2 parliamentary candidate, addressing a. public meeting, "I think you'll agre^ that my opponent hasn't a leg to stand on."
"Al the reason why he should have he scat," said one of the audience.
Elimination Trial ould you like some tea sir?"
Never drink tea."
Would you like some coffee sir?" "Never drink coffee."
"Would yeu like a whisky and soda Master: "Never drink soda."
Good Cause "WHAT caused you to think the prisoner was drunk?" a m; ate enquired of the constable vho had made the arrest, "Well sir," replied the constable, "I found rim in Trafalgar Square, throwing his walking-stick into the fountains ug the lions on Nelson's moun Wanted—A Cook "I pon'r want to complain, cook," said her mistress, "but that friend who comes to scc you stops much too late. I couldn't get to leep last night because of her laughter."
"I'm sorry, madam," replied the cook. "I waa only telling her about that time you tried to make a cake," laid with 3 e at the time of the explosion. te the seriousness o to the political them is as foolish as it is what ho have lly no say political problems involve th rib the c: skin. I viction that vi ame skin is thoroughly well excoriated a: punishment, a degree of political justice will have been perfected. And there should be no doing so.
Go criminal. He abandoning his and the best method of dealing inflicted upon oth Race Course Closure The clos: ursa Recreation Grounds last wee n the correspon end has inspired criticism ce columns. The facts of Light and Heavy "Your sh language," sighed the young ill drive me mad!"
hat's worrying you now, Pierre?" asked s British friends.
"I will never understand it quite," groaned so hard! Yesterday my English employer said to me: Do not waste the I do not want to have a heavy 1
Big Game Hunters of game in South Africa rival Scottish anglers for tall stories. Here is one of the lat A man was out shooting quail. There was 1 gale blowing. A quail rose. Bang went the 12-bore load of No. 6 shot. Moments passed. The bird appeared stationary in the air.
On going forward, tha sportsman discovered hat, on account of the high velocity of the ind, the bird was held in mid-air, although madly endeavouring to go forward.
And, lo and behold, there was the load of pellets, 10 or 12 inches behind the quail, making no better progress than the bird. ple. The grounds were inspected by the ground officials on Frday evening and, owing to their sodden condition, it was resolved to close them for the week-end. During last week ih^ weather was unsettled end ra Littl": could be done by the ground
and though Fri a sunny day there w staff fent mopping up to accelerate drying tittle drying quality in the ait. On Saturday og still saturated, though the sur-up in patches. The Committee, to close the ground for ili rugby ai
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.