Tur census taker came up to the Kentucky mountaineer's home and knocked at the door. A little boy answered.
Census Taker: "Where's your father, young man?"
"He's in gaol.
Well, where's your mother?" She's in the insane asylum.
Have you any brothers or sister?" have a brother at Harvard."
At Harvard! What's he doing ther "He's in a bottle; he has two heads."
Parlez-Vous "May I put in a plea for more English light music in B. B. C. programmes and less of these. Continental feature programmes, suggests a correspondent, I am not an insular spinster who deplores everything foreign. I take my Cook's yearly."
Don't think I'm insular, narrow or proud, I go every year to Calais Or Boulogne, Dieppe with the same jolly crowd, And we drink in a roadside cafe.
And Mrs, Montglummery she can speak French, And Mrs, Smith-Wodderburn, too, Calling "Garcong, here garcong, vite, vite with Yaddition.
Eh volia, dix centimes pour vous."
So don't think I'm narrow, I've travelled a lot, And sometimes we go to Paree, Where the cooking is good and the dancing is hot, "Tres julie, but naughty, oni, oni.
And Mrs. Montglummery, she\takes the lead When we go to the Folies Bergere, And we end up the day with a cafe an lair Or a nice tasse de the Angleterre.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.