Babblings from Berchtesgaden I am der Fuehrer. That is why My stock in Germany stands high; One realm, one leader and one folk Croaned once beneath an alien yoke But now are powerful and free And thanks to Adolf Hitler. Me!
In international affairs Tve taken statesmen unawares, Developing a shock technique Which leaves them speechless: so to speak, For, when a knotty point e: udos They swap their inexactitudes While, with mad frenzy in my eye I tell them a prodigious lie That's so incredible, forsooth They take it ior the Gospel truth And, ere the talks are well begun My bloodless victories are won.
At Munich, Mr. Chamberlain Was told by me, time and again That though a war he might release I still remained a Man of Peace And, if he'd take my good advice, He'd keep that peace at Adolf's price And then, my moderate demand The cession of Sudetenland, Dear Uncle Neville took the bait Hook, line and sinker—it was great—And thus according to my plan Mistook me for a gentleman: Td led him, tell it not in Gath, Right up the Berchtesgaden path.
"Twas easy, later, to annex The territory of the Czechs.
My word! Well, promises are spoken Like pie-crust, merely ta be broken, Although this caused, I'm bound to say In France and England, some dismay.
This did not turn me from my aims And now I had my Polish claims To free my Danzig from oppression And Nazis from the Poles' aggression. Prepared was I to risk a war To take the Polish Corridor For I knew certainly enough That all the Allied talk was bluff And France and England were afraid Of ever lending Poland aid.
Moreover, while with Molotoff The fatheads dickered, on and off, The time seemed ripe for me to act So I breezed in and signed a pact Which set at naught their pretty schemes And shattered finally their dreams.
It's true this meant I had to spurn My partners, Anti-Comintern, But what is Spain? A busted flush For whom no Nordic cares a rush!
Japan? Her military might So vaunted, scarcely seems in sight As for my Roman sycophants They're due a swift kick in the pants Which this deal with my Moscow pard Wil surely give them, good and hara.
My calculations, I must say To some extent had gone astray For, when the Poles launched their attack And I commenced to push them back, Both France and England broke the peace With curt demands that I should cease.
This cool request meant furthermore That they would bear the guilt of war. My people, though in anger slow Perceived that England was the foe For France was peaceably inclined Had England been of equal mind, They weren't however, quite so quick To cheer the noble Bolshevik Now on our side in this dispute. For my sake (and a spot of loot) I had to broadcast quite a lot To show my Aryans what was what And how the British Empire's doom Spelt to us Germans, living-room. I knew, when this produced a cheer That I had sold them the idea, I found my own advisers too Inclined to look a trifle blue, In fact, alone von Ribbentrop Did not consider it a flop.
My trusted Second-in-command Declared it hard to understand (You'll gather that I am referring To fat Field-Marshal Hermann Goering). And that he's Leader next to be In pleases him and don't hurt me. My propaganda expert too Remarked, "It's all that I can do, "To put this over's sure some ramp." 1 said, "A concentration camp "Will be the place for Doctor Goebbels "Where he can go on blowing bubbles! And Himmler frowns, Hess heaves a sigh, But Gott in Himmel, what care I?
I own I sometimes get the urge Like Moscow Joe, to have a purge And so tomorrow, like as not TI liquidate the blinking lot.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.