March 12—The Magpies' nest which I condemned (mentally) a few weeks ago, because it was badly placed in the wrong kind of tree, has now actually been deserted and the builders have moved to a garden a few hundred yards away. I often feel that I really know more about their business than the Magpies do, and I would like to address a young male Magpie somewhat as follows. "Young man, you e about to set up a house of your own, so let an experienced old bird advise you: you must first choose your tree carefully. Poplars are safe because, as your forbears have known for generations, the branches break off easily and so are seldom climbed by humans: Willows have early leaves to shelter your young in Spring, but they are too easily climbed by cats and other pests: Planes are good but the leaves come too late for you: a Ginkgo tree outside a temple is first-class, but the priests are apt to be a' bit skinny about the fuel... and you must remember that on many cold nights to come, while your wife is warmly tucked up in the nest you will be out on the cold hard tiles. Personally I recommend the Poplar because you can therein secure a site with three or four supporting branches on all sides, so that your structure will be unassailable by the prevailing winds: "safety first" is the obvious motto when building the home which may lgst.you for years. Do not choose a Park, because there too many strangers about (and women are nervous on these occasions)....give preference to a Church compound where so few people go nowadays. And lastly, when you have worked out all these matters, give yourself one more chance: sit up in the top of a high tree for a whole day and cogitate seriously [on Mr, Punch's advice to young people about to be married.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.