'A Cucxeren staying at Datchet Decided to "bat" with a hatchet:
Than said with a laugh, As the ball fell in half, Customs ofoer to man on return from Victoria: "I thought you said there was only clothes in this valise," holding up a bottle of "Now the blighter at slips cannot catch itt"
Persistent Vistzon "I suppose they ack a lot for the rent of this sumptuous apartment."
Hostess: "Yes, they asked Harold seven times last month."
Noble Effort Sure, that's my night cay Paging E. Walluce A coxstamx had occasion to speak a few words of warning to a man who had had just enough drink to. make him' quarrelsome. "Gar! was the reply; "it it adn's been for Edgar Wallace the kes of you would never ave been eard of!
'Tuts short essay on frogs, by a young immigrant, was reported by' the Chicago Board of Education: "What a wonderful bird. the frog are, When he stand he sit almost, When he hop he fly almost. He ain't got no sense hardly. "He ain't got no tail hardly, either, when he sition what he alv't got almost."
An Irish Genius 'Tue hotel was crowded and the Irishman' had to share a room with a. negro, During the night, @ practical joker blacked the Irishman's face.
Getting up in a hurry in the morning. Pat caught sight of himself in the mirror. Puzzled, hho stood for a moment gazing at his reflee: tion.
"Begorraht" he said at length. "They've woke the Wrong" man!
Resourceful Ar the time of the Queen Mary's maiden voyage, a teacher asked her class to write essays on a trip on the Queen Mary. The compiler saw one of the essays which began thus: "It T was going for a trip on the Queen Mary T should take with me a tooth-brush and a bathing-suit."
Own Idea A turn girl had come to blows with a small felond, and her mother was rebuking her.
"Don't you know, dear, that it is very wicked to behave so? Tt was Satan that put it into your head to pull Patty's hair."
"Perhaps it' was." the child admitted, kicking her legs was entirely my own idea.
Consistency Neiowmoun: What's the matter, Mex, Jones?
Mrs. Jones: Oh, my husband is so. absent-minded. "After breakfast he left a tip on the table, and when T handed him' his hat he gave' me another tip.
Neighbour: Well, that's nothing to worry: about. Just force of habit.
Mrs. Jones: That's what worries me. He kissed me when I gave him his overcoat, Poor Bill Bux Smith, a country shopkeeper, went to the city to buy goods. They were' sent immediately, and reached home before he did. When the boxes were delivered, Mes, Smith, who was keeping the shop, altered a" scream, and began frantically to open the largest one, "What's the matter, Sarah?" said one of the who had watched her in amaze-
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.