A ScorcH shepherd always held his umbrella over his sheep when it rained—so the wool wouldn't shrink, Her Style "But why on earth did you get two h, the other one I'm giving to the cook to annoy Mrs. Harris. It's exactly like the new one she had on today.
Gamble ie time he wanted to go the this a well-mannered horse? Why all g opposite way to "Well, who won?" asked the Riding Maste "Oh, he did, He tossed me for it"
Born Haythen fla Bock, a strong healthy couple, like you "You know, Pat," said the Priest to a Pat, member
and your ould have more than three y e, si read the ither day that ivory fourth cholla born "Shure, Father, I'm glad cive only thr 3 j ay, ai in the wuurld is a hay then."
Story for Gordon Highlanders 5 THERE was once a Scotsman named He MacTootlochbraw—or so the story goes—who toi had the reputation of being the kindest, most considerate husband in all Kirkcudbright, it is reported by the "Daily Mail,"
This good man was-always fetching his wife footstools and saying to her: "Dinna weary yesd,' Maggie lass, Mak yesd' comfortable the noo, and rest your puir wee feet, for many a wifely duties,"
ile we've trudged this lee-long de
Alas! one dark might Hector MacTootlochbraw lay at his last gasp.
"Maggie," he said in a faint voice, "leesten weel ta wha' I hae to tell ye, lass, for a canna dee wita lee on ma conscience, I was no sich a kind mon as folks thocht. When I leetted those great drum lie feet o' yours onto a foot-stoa' it was naught but economy. I jest could na bear to see ye wearing out guid leather while ye were secting down,"
Of course, there would be no point in telling the Irish Guards a story of this sort about a man named Daneen O'Sullivan, Begorrah Liberty is a Shop Nor only may a fraction of a farthing now be counted as a whole farthing when calculating the retail price of sugar—a boon to grocers which makes England the envy of the civilized world—but you may, if you don't mind looking an awful little bounder carry away a no-coupon ham sandwich in a common paper bag and eat it in the public thoroughfares, relates the "Daily Mail,"
Never, Elinor, eat a no-coupon ham sandwich "off the premises" without giving a kindly thought to Bulwer-Lytton, who loved liberty as dearly as you love your daggle.
"Personal liberty," he once observed to a Mrs. Scatter, "is the paramount essential to human dignity and human happiness."
"Bh?" she sai "You heard me," retorted Bulwer-Lytton, "I said personal liberty is the paramount essential to human dignity and human happiness."
"Oh," said Mrs, Scatter, And then she added with a light laugh: "Shall we waltz?"
So Bulwer-Lytton and Mrs, Scatter whirled round and round like a couple of mad things and were promptly arrested for dancing,
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.