Two office boys were comparing notes on their respective jobs.
"Don't you ever have a day off for your grandmother's funeral?" asked the first, with a sly grin.
"Day off? What a ope, with me working for the Registrar of Births and Deaths!"
Linguist An English visitor to Canada for the first time, on seeing an Indain chief, said: "White man glad to see red man. Hope red man feels top-hole this morning.
The Chief turned and shouted to some Indians nearby:
"Hey, come over and listen to this bozo, he's good."
Knows Everything An old commercial traveller was giving sales hints to a young man just starting on his career on the road.
"And don't forget, young man," he said, "never try to sell an encyclopædia to a bride."
"And why not?" asked the young man.
"Because," replied the older man, smiling cynically, "she always thinks her husband knows everything."
Long Chase CiAstNc a lady's hat the other day at certain windy corner reminded a correspondent of the shogt-sighted man who onte chased. his hat along a country road and up a narrow lane into a back garden.
"What do you think you're doing?" asked an irate housewife.
"I'm trying to recover my hat," explained the short-sighted man.
"Well, go and look for your hat elsewhere. That's my black hen you're chasing!"
Efficiency Tms amusing story comes from "Shell Magazine"—A motorist was asked if he had tried a new atomizer which is said to halve petrol consumption.
"Rather," he replied. "It did all the makers claimed for it, and saved 50 per cent! of my petrol. I also bought a new carburetter which saved 30 per cent, got another brand/of petrol which saved 20 per cent, and some special sparkingplugs which saved another ten per cent.
"Then I took the car out for a fest run, and I'm dashed if the petrol tank didn't overflow before I'd gone five miles."
Well, Pil Tell You—I aLways thought the peopl in my part of the country were carefree and/easy going—until I came to Hollywood. Som¢ of these people out-here will go in for pretty near anything as long as it ain't too much trouble and don't call for too much risk.
'The other day on the st a couple of young extras were talking' to ne and they told me they was genua get married. I says, "Well, are you sure, that you love each other?" and the boy says, "Well, not exactly, but it won't cost notiin'—my father's a preacher." So I asked the girl if she was sure she loved the boy and she says, "No, but what have I got to lose—my father is a lawyer."—By Bob Burns.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.