Candid Youth:
Lire Gloria: "Auntie, why do you put powder on your face?"
Aunt: "To make me pretty, dear."
Little Gloria: "Then why doesn't it?"
Dinner Served 'THeopore Hook once dined with Mr, Hatchet.
"I am afraid." said his host, "that you will not get tod: ch a dinner as our friend Tom Moore gave u:
"Certainly not," replied Hook.
"From a Hatchet one expects nothing but a chop."
Genuine Test A motorist entered the police station, "Is my car back yet?" he asked. "Some of ur men borrowed it to chase a bandit,'
"Yes," replied the sergeant, "We're summoning you for defective brakes and lights, as well as an inefficient silencer,"
Mixed Ir was an Irish clergyman who, while expounding on the transitoriness of earthly things, exclaimed.
"Look at the great cities of antiquity. Where are they now? Why, some of them have perished so utterly that it is doubtful if they ever existed!"
Regretted Tue private descended the steps of the military hospital with a gloomy expression on his face.
"Hullo!" said a passing comrade. "And how is the sergeant-major this morning?"
The private looked even gloomier. "There's no hope," he said bitterly. "He returns to duty tomorrow Favourable Tne football match was being played in pouring rain, and the teams were ankle-deep in mud, At the interval the home players were three goals down, and everything seemed to be going against them.
Come on, boys!" cried one of their supporters in the crowd, "the tide's with you now!"
"Big Mug"
AFTER a race-meeting a gloomy-looking man went into an inn and asked for a punter of beer.
"A punter?" asked the barman. "That's a new one on me. I knows pots and schooners and butchers, and a few others, but what's a punter?"
"A big mug!" said the customer bitterly.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.