I pon'r think an actor's necessarily conceited just because he hires a publicity man to write nice things about him. Pret' near everybody likes to hear nice things said about himself.
One time down home, our worst citizen was arrested for stealin' hogs, When the trial came up, he told the judge he wanted a lawyer to defend him. The judge said "Well, you were caught red-handed and you've already confessed the crime. I can't imagine anything a lawyer could say in your behalf."
The prisoner said, "I don't either, Judge—that's what I'm curious to hear."
—By Bob Burns Treatment of Pigs From outlying districts far and wide They're brought into the Settlement, So many on the voyage died, The others with hard journeying spent; From not too good or model home They're rushed along a dusty path Without a rest, till streaming foam O'erfills their mouths, afraid of wrath Of overseers their feet are quick 4 Until at last they start to lag: Then comes the noise of striking stick And with strong efforts they will drag The webed, the tired and aching feet Through bushes, stones, ditch and moat, Along the almost endless street That leads to water and the boat.
They had no drink upon the way, And could not even dream of food, But now a bit of sprinkled spray That falls on deck makes them feel good, And over rails they'll stretch glad noses, And sniff fresh air that's all around; Such trials man on them imposes Through hardships that are so profound That sadly here and there their ear A ho ink of one much too far gone So pitifully often will hear Which says he cannot carry on; And they know that companion had Borne more than any one could bear And now he lies among them dead, No breath of life is left. in there, And then the clang of copper bell And other boats that near them stand The poor and suffering creatures tell That they again have come to land, And then their shifting starts once more, In trucks so closely they are packed, And shoving's as great as before As they on top of others are stacked, And on the wharf they still can see, As the van swiftly moves away, A never forgotten memory Of hardships they had on the way.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.