Cash and Carry Customer: I've brought that last pair of trousers to be reseated. You know, I sit a lot.
Tailor: Yes, and I hope you've brought the bill to be receipted. You know I've stood a lot, Vigorous Moderns "How did you get on with that chorus girl you were so keen about?"
"Boy, she's just mad about me! Why, she's even got a lock of my hair."
"Is that so?"
"Sure! I can show you the wound she left, when she lugged it out."
Gangway A FELLOW jumped from a taxi outside a railway station. He had only 15 seconds to catch dis train.
"What do I owe you?" he asked the driver, breathlessly.
"Three and "Well, here's three shillings. the sixpence!"
You can keep Bent THE diner endeavoured to cut his steak.
After struggling vainly for a time he summoned the waiter.
"Here," he growled, "take this steak pack."
"I can't do that, sir," said the waiter.
Why not?" demanded the customer. "You've bent it!" was the reply.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.