Everyone makes fun of the Scotch stolidity, According to the "Daily Telegraph" the following was overheard in the Strand: "Why didn't they sound the sirens for the air-raid on the Forth?"
"Oh, Scotsmen don't care. The only time they take cover is on a flag day."
Overheard "Say what you like, Bill, I don't see how this can be a short war. Think of all the munitions they've goron their hands everywhere. It wouldn't be economical not to use em. And, believe me, it's economics that's going to count in the end.
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Worried "You really should not listen to these absurd stories, madame," said the patient bank-manager to the dear old lady. "Of course you can withdraw your money if you want to."
"Oh, I don't want it at all if you've got it," she said. "It was only if you haven't." a a Diagnosed Brer Harte was once asked what he thought of a new "boom" district. He replied:—"It is a place where every bunch of willows is a mighty forest, every frog-pond a sylvan lake, every waterfall a second Niagara, every ridge of rocks a gold mine, every shack a country seat, and every man a liar."
Light of the W.O, AppaRENTLY the War Office has been accused by a Member of Parliament of breaking the black-out regulations, One hesitates in a state of emergency to be whimsical on this subject, but one has one's memories, and one cannot resist suggesting that the gleam, or gleams, of light might have been Mr. Here-Belisha's old smile breaking through.
It is this sort of imagination—one adds deferentially—which helps to sustain one, Doris Speaks Her Mind PeRsONALLy (says Doris) I think my uniform trousers suit me, and so does my boy friend; but—there!—who did I have to, run into in the street yesterday but his sister, the criticising one; and why nice boys have to have sisters like that for I don't know, and never shall.
"Oh," she said, "well," she said, "my dear, we're very nice and smart, aren't we? But sometimes I think if some girls knew what they look like from behind in trousers," she said, "they wouldn't go out."
"Really?" I said. "Is that so?" I said. "Well," I said, "I think that if some girls knew what they look like from in front they'd wear their gas masks."
How was that for a soft answer?
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.