For the second time in a month intruders at the premises of Messrs. J, H, Dewhurst, in Queeh-parade, North Ealing, W., broke their burglars kit on the safe.... The lock Was scratched but remained ntact.
Sweet slumber breathed soft o'er North Baling, Except in a Queen-parade shop, Where bür; were daintily feeling Their way—without rousing a cop—To open a safe. Perspiration Bedewed their intense-looking dials: But, much to the boys' consternation, The lock would not yield to their trials.
They broke all their keys and their spanners, They used the most horrible words, Reflecting a sad lack of manners In thwarted, burglarious birds:
At last, when the dawn peered to find them, Mora i bones ing would call it a day, "Twas all they could Boostee away.
l leaving their wrecked tools behind them—
—By F. G. H. Salisbury in the "Herald." otto Soaper Says—As the loyalist cause is coming back smartly in war-torn Spain, Franco's final victory may have to ran for a third term.
An tolerable situation comes to the notice of Chicago's vigilant aldermen. It seems the high collar that went out with Hoover has come back on beer.
Students of conditions in the stratobphbre foresee planes traveling fifteen viles aloft. Man, Who was created a little lower than the angels, is creeping up.
A fair Californian tells a divorce jüdge the man she married was not the tien she thought he was, On the other hand, who is?
In the Midlands ^I think, you know, you ought to, er, give me better terms."
"Really, sir. Why, si "Well, you know, my wife has one of your sewing machine:
"I'm sorry, sir, but the Singer sewing machine has nothing to do with Singer cars. Really, sir."
Oh, well, if you are not géibg to meet a fellow half way, so to speak, I shall buy a Morris. They don't make sewing machines."
"You don't happen to use a Rolls razor, do you, sir?"
"No, I have got a Gillette."
"Pity, sir, you might put your proposition to the Rolls-Royce Ca. They don't make ra: any more than we make sewing machines.
"Oh is that so? Well, don't you think we might split the difference?"
"It's half past twelve, sir. Shall we adjourn for a little refreshment?"
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.