A reLLow was trying to dodge military service.
"I'm afraid my short-sightzdness will prevent me from doing any actual fighting," he said.
The M.O. replied, cheerfully: "That's oka old chap, We've got special trenches for short-sighted ones, Right up close to the enemy—you just can't miss seting em!"
"Somewhere"
Wonperrut were the mistakes made during the last war by troops sailing for unknown destinations, A private in a north Country regiment, supposing he was bound for the front, on being disembarked in Ireland thought had arrived in France, so he wrote to his father saying: "We have arrived safely and the villag> people seem to understand all we say to them."
Weighty AN inspector paid a surprise visit to a village school. The teacher, who was of decidedly cor-opulent build, proceeded to question the children.
"Now, children, tell me in what way I resemble a clock."
The responses soon came.
"Please, miss, you have a face," "You have hands," and so on.
Then came the question: "Tell me some ways in which I do not resemble a clock."
There was a long pause; then piped a small voice: "Please, miss, you have no spring,"
Confinement To protect its staff, London's Bank of England last winter, built an underground air-raid shelter. Recently, bank members in charge of Air Raid Precautions sent an elaborate health questionnaire to all employees to find out if they could withstand prolonged imprisonment in the narrow, crowded shelter. Among the questions: "Do you suffer from claustrophobia To the amazement of A, R. P. organizers, 95 per cent of the women employees answered, "Yes." Calling in the chief of the women's division, the organizers asked her if she had explained to the girl exactly what claustrophobia meant. "Oh, yes," said she, "I told them it meant being afraid of confinement."
Contagious is laughter so contagious? Only once have I seen a big hall full of men every one of whom was laughing till he felt a pain in the back of the neck. After two minutes we would fain have stopped but were wholly unable to. Undergraduates with a sprinkling of dons, some quite elderly, and a few women, What were we laughing at?
A noted female mesmerist named Mme Card gave a public performance—it was in the autumn of 1874—when she selected about eight of the audience, hypnotized them, ranged them n a semi-circle on the platform and told them severally that there was some screamingly funny joke on and they must laugh. They obeyed, not brusquely or as one sometimes sees, with the mouth contorted and the eyes grave but gradually; beginning with a fatuous smile, then with a crescendo of indescribable merriment, an intoxicated ecstasy of laughter closely imitated by some 300 help-lose spectators.
At the close of the entertainment not a soul could tell you what we had been laughing at.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.