Sme was one of those tiresome women who will go on talking when their husbands want to go to sleep. He had been very patient, and answered all her silly questions. At last she said: "George, dear, is everything shut up for the night?"
George sighed deeply, "Yes," he replied, "everything else, dear."
Myopic Tue short-sighted man went into the shop for a pair of cheap spectacles. He tried pair after pair until he got one which suited him perfectly.
He put them on and walked into thè street. The first thing he saw was à hawker selling grapes from a barrow.
"I think TIl take a bunch of these balloons home to the kids," he said, "Blimey"
An Australian girl bought a ticket at a Tube station and absent-mindedly threw it away.
When she arrived at her destination the ticket-collector held out his hand.
"Ticket, please," he said, 'm afraid I've lost it," said the girl.
"Where do you come from?"
"Australia."
"Blimey s i Sister Tue following yarn is one told of the famous film actor John Barrymore, He went into one of the big stores in Hollywood. When he had given his order, he turned to leave, "And your name?" the assistant asked innocently. one ply, in distinctly "Barrymore," came the reply, in disti
"Which Barrymore, please?"
The film-actor surveyed him coldly, "Ethel!" he muttered, 8
No Pedestrian "THe owner of the shoe store surveyed the ticket one of the assistants was putting on a pair of shoes.
"Take that off," he said sternly. "Never have I sold anything by false representation, and Tui not going to start now." er was thinking deeply, e assistant waited, seeing thai ly-
"No," went on the owner, "it is an inferior grade of shoe, and I will not pass it off as anything better. Mark it 'A Shoe Fit for a Queen,' and put in the window—a queen de not have to do much walking"
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.