SHoutp a husband share the housework with his wife? asks a correspondent. Well, Clearance, it is surely hoggish to want to do it all by yourself.
8 8 Just as Well Poutrictan (angrily): "Those newspapers tell abominable lies."
Friend: "And yet they might do worse."
"Do worse! What do you mean?"
"They might tell the truth."
Powerful Teeth Mas, Fiery was born with a temper like gunpowder.
"Tell me, dear," said her husband, after one of her outbursts, "how it was I never discovered this unhappy weakness of yours during our courtship day? However did you restrain yourself?"
"Well," replied his wife, "I used to go upstairs and bite pieces out of the top of the oak dressing-table."
Selfish Father Bobbie was late for Sunday School and his teacher asked the reason, "I was going fishing, but daddy wouldn't let me," said the boy.
"Your father," said the teacher, "was perfectly right, I suppose he explained why you shouldn't go fishing on Sunday."
"Yes," replied the boy. "He said there wasn't enough bait for both of us."
6 Severe Tue two ladies met at a tea party, "I haven't seen you for a long time," said the first. "What have you been doing?"
"Oh," replied the other, "what a time I had! I just don't know how I ever got through, First I had angina pectoris, and then pneumonia, followed by arterio-sclerosis and phlebitis. After that they gave me hypodermics, and I had barely recovered when I got tuberculosis and pendicitis, followed by tonsilectomy. Oh, yes, it certainly was the hardest spelling bee I've ever known."
Whist "Wuere wur ye last night, Terry?" asked Dennis of his chum.
"Sure, Noarh invited me along to have a game of whist," said Terry.
"An' phwat sort ay a game is whist?" queried Dennis.
"Oct, now, na' it's a nice game," enthused friend. "Here is how we play it, Oi sit in the kitchen an' eat good things Norah brings to me. Then she gives me a bottle of beer, an' Oi gives her a squeeze, An' if the mistress happy to come along Norah says 'Whist,' an' Oi hoides in the pantr Well, Well, Well Accorvina to a rag-picker's story in court recently, where he was charged with stealing a motor wheel, a dog attacked him and he took up the wheel to protect himself.
Come wheel, come wea?
Constable: "The driver was sitting in the back."
Magistrate: "In the back?"
P.C.: "There was a young lady with him." Magistrate: "Oh, that explains it."
Defendant: "Yes, I drove the car awa: wanted a little more practice before I passed my driving test."
Instead, he has gone for three months to a place where there are no driving tests, as he already had a record, "I remained neutral right until the last and then I took the side of the motorist because I don't think he knew what he was talking about."
A witness with the spirit of a Cabinet Minister.
A Birmingham motorist, and member of Solihull Urban District Council, appeared before Loughborough (Leics.) magistrates recently on a charge of speeding in a restricted area.
The irony of the case was, according to the defendant, that he is continually opposing de restriction of areas,
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.