Policeman at Highgate (of woman motorist):
When I stopped defendant she said, "You are a nice chap." When I told her she would be summoned, she said, "I hate you.
Motorist: "I did not see the constable until the' last moment. It was a terrible moment."
Constable: I told the defendant her speed, and she said: "Was it really that much? I didn't feel over 30."
"Following my usual custom I was having a pint of beer in the local. l find beer is the best thing to make me slee; Witness at Willesden.
Service L A Lecturer was invited to address a club in an English town.
Unfortunately, on his arrival there he discovered he had come away without his false teeth, without which he was utterly helpless. He explained his dilemma to the secretary of the club, and asked if there was not a dentist in the n who might assist hin The secretary said, "Just leave it to me," ind a gentleman arrived who looked at the speaker's mouth and made some measurements. He duly returned with three sets of teeth, one of which fitted like a glove.
The address was delivered with much suc-ud the speaker thanked the secretary and "he's noa nan," said th dentist.
He's the undertake
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.