Dec, l—Magpies are showy birds with their vivid pattern of black and white plumage, and so it happens that their name often appears in print. At least, so it appears to me after reading a copy of the Church of Scotland magazin produced in London. But I must tell this story in my own way. Some years ago a loquacious lady (now departed from these shores) sat in my verandah and insisted on talking about birds—a thing I seldom do, un the subject is forced upon me—and told me there was a Jay sitting on the fence. Now, it so happens that the true Jay (Garrulus glandarius) does not come to us here, so I said quite innocently, "If you mean that black and white bird, it is a Magpie": to which she replied quite snappily, "Oh, No! That is a Jay: my husband knows a lot about birds and told me so." So, like George Robey in his old song "I bowed to superior knowledge." That ends my little story, but now comes the sequel from the Church magazine which has just come into my hands. "It was in Professor Pringle Pattison's place at Selkirk where Ker and I were staying....in a room off the hall one wall was occupied by a case of stuffed birds... I welcomed the opportunity for an education I badly needed. 'What is that bird? I asked, pointing. 'Why' said Ker reproachfully, "that's a Magpie'. 'Oh, is it?' said our host, diffidently fingering his beard, that's not my idea of a Magpie'. 'It is God's idea of a Magpie', said Ker solemnly." This story has gone down to fame under the heading of "The Retort Memorable"
..and Ihave been wondering ever since I read it why I did not think of something equally suitable to say to that loquacious lady who laid me low in my verandah just a few years ago.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.