Britis generals have always been known for their excruciating wit, writes Nat Gubbins in the "Sunday Express." They are so funny at the expense of people who dare not answer back that many of us who have been the victims of their brilliant satire have often thought that they would have been more successful as music hall comedians.
Quite a number of generals in the last war could have faced the footlights without makeup. Their noses were the right colour.
therefore with great pleasure that I quote a gem uttered by the late Duke fof \Cambridge (who commanded two British brigades in the Crimea) and reproduced with quiet relish by Earl of Midleton in the "Twopenny Daily The Earl of Midleton write:
"On the parade ground the duke was priceless. His comments on his inspections were a Joy to the select few who heard them. He once reviewed in Hyde Park three battalions of the Grenadier Guards and summed up as. follows "'In all my experience of reviews....1 hat never witnessed such a damnable exhibition of incompetence as has been shown by the Grenadier Guards today, When the cease fire sounded the Ist Battalion was firing at the Serpentine; the 2nd Battalion firing at the Marble' Arch; and God Almighty knows where the 3rd Battalion was firing. I don't."
How the staff must have laughed—specially those with an eye on promotion, How the men would have laughed if their poor dumb clocks had not been frozen stiff by discipline.
Many comedians spend sleepless nights wrest-ug with their gags, finding the exact word and timing the laugh; but here was a spontaneous uttered without a second thought, perfectly timed, and bringing in that naughty little bit of blasphemy without which no general can be funny.
On behalf of a harassed community pathetically searching for amusement I would like to thank the Earl of Midleton for preserving this side-splitting crack throughout the years, and the editor of the "Daily Twopenny" for printing it.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.