"Dors the sergeant know about this?" asked the colonel, as he surveyed the collapsed barricade of sandbags.
"He ought to," said the private, "he's underneath."
Family War A YOUTHFUL subaltern, acting as A.D.C. lo his father, the general, was instructed to communicate the following order to a particularly short-tempered colonel:
"Please, sir, father says will you spread out your men more to the right?"
'The colonel gave him a fiery look, and with a snort, bellowed: "Oh, does he? And' what does mother say?"
Silence is Golden Aw American living in Germany in spite of the war, had toothache, and went to the dentist and asked his fee, "Five guineas," was the reply. "It's a back tooth."
"Why? It's only 5s, in America."
"Yes, but you see, I shall have to drill a hole in the back of your neck," said the dentist.
"You mustn't open your mouth too wide in this country."
"Let Out"
I aM an advertising man. (Or rather, I was).
always called my customers "clients." I re-erred to our office as "our shop." I called my ce-workers "the staff." Specifically, I spoke of hem as "contact men," "account executives," "sales visualizers," and "merchandising counsels." I never said "all right" when I could say 'O K"; nor "I understand" when there was a chance for "check!" Whenever I gave a man any figures, I was careful to say I got them hrough "a market investigation." I obeyed all he rules of the "advertising game," but this morning I slipped. The boss, I mean "chief"—"eard me telling the receptionist to tell a caller hat I was "in meeting" when I should have aid "in conference." So he fired me—I mean "let me out" he wicked treatment which is being meted out o them, and even like it under threat of being nvaded and overwhelmed with the German might which is so effective against weaker rations. It is interesting to note, however, that 1 spokesman in Berlin admitted that, if the erman planes dropped bombs or opened fire without warning, they were acting contrary to international law, and Netherlands' commentaors have pointed out that in not one instance tas any warning been reported by witness:
survivors of these dastardly attacks. There is, f course, another breach of international law n that the German aviators fail to search the hips in question for contraband before attempt-ug-to sink them. This is impossible unless the German machines used are seaplanes, but the experience of last war and this is that such niceties of legal requirements are not likely to receive much attention from a nation whose: ourse of conduct has been one of complete disregard for international commitments. The Algemeen Handelsblad" is somewhat overstatug the case when it claims that German airmen smeared their own emblem with innocent slood. The fact is that their escutcheon has become so besmirched that a little extra dirt me way or the other is hardly noticeable, but he newspaper in question may involve its Government in difficulties if it continues so violently to condemn the actions of German aviators who are a law unto themselves, and that the law of disorder.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.