'An' how goes th' war now," asked Hinnessey, meeting has oracular friend "somewheres on the Hongkew side."
Oj don't know. Ut looks as if th' barbris_conflick was adjourned over th' Chiny New Year. 'Th' papers talked as much as the Widdy Nolan's parrot when °tis moultin' which is evidence, me friend, iv a failing' iv th' power iv imaginati Oi've been shtudyin the history iv Rooshia in tree volumes by Mister Robert Bell, Esquire. He wrote ut whin yer old man was a gomeral Farnin' excuses for not bein' in school in owld Ulster, befure ye was iver thought of, Hinnessoy.
An' phwat's he say about ut "The moral turpichood iv Rooshia, he says, th' most unprincipled country' on th' face iv th' earth, he says, is more to be feared than its physical strength, he says. It has poisoned th' higher classes, he says, iv Yuropeen sassiety; an' its fatal inflooence is, we fear, says he, ivory day extending. "Ho's a great man, I tell ye, an' has the making iv a howly prophet in his clothes."
"Ye don't seem to like Rooshia," remarked Hinnessey.
Phwat for should 1? Can't ai read all about ut in th' papers, an' wasn't it three Rooshian sailors came into my soon an' wint away wid_a. skinful iv me best wit' out payin'? Hasn't ivory mother's son iv th' Japanese refugees mentioned th' unspeakable brutality iv th' soldiers who dray thun from Valdivostock, without levin' thun brush their hair?' Didn't Patskull in his Letters in siventeon hundred an' something—an' wid a name like that he knowed—tell that a Rooshian soldier niver knows how to behave in an inemy's country, actin', he says, wid cruelty even to th' unarmed. Phwat be wouldn't do to th' unlogged, th' murtherin Cossack, is bryant telling'. Don't talk to me. Oi know thun. Not but phwat," he effected, calming down, "there isn't a dale to be said again the Yother side. Rooshia is fineed off on th north by th' North Pole, on th' west be th' concert iv Yurop, an' on the south by Lord Kitchener an' that dare-diwle Colonel Younghusband, so tis eastward ho, Hinnessey, or bust, me son, for th" Great White Czar, an' ' they do say he's not so white as he's painted. Wan iv thun vulgar Amurrican papers says Rooshia is so-named bein th' original home iv th' ruse, an' thore's somethin in that, as Alexyeff said whin he saw th' first shell bursting on th' stibs iv th' Opry House. Tis a takin way Rooshia has, Hinnessey, an' after takin Manchuria, she tuk time answering Japan's numerous billy duxes. 'Th' Japs are not putting R.S.V.P., on th' tender missives they've bein sending lately, which accounts for th' absence iv more lies be wire in th' papers. Mo trind Delcashy, ai see, who promised if th' worst came to th' worst to lind a hand, says tis worse than he expected, an' that th' Frinch-Rooshian Alliance is not for circulation further east than Fashoda. The Kaiser says he won't interfere, either, bein' promised to help Stead wid his new woman's paper. 'That leaves England free to call out her reserves again Joe Chamberlain, and to observe a benevolent neutrality by quintin into Rooshia's back-garden from th' hills bevant Tibet. The moral support iv Amur-rica is wid th' Japs, hissing th' top dog on, an' th' immoryal support iv Shanghai is present in th' mannyfactoor iv picksheresque lies about th' gun-boat Manjoor. Tis ray ported an th' best antority ivory mornin' that th' Manjoor lof be las' noight's toldo, an' ivory tiffin-toimo that she assent. 'Tis now understood be mo speshul corryspondint that th' Manjoor was capchoored at Kamakura, an' that th' Choinese has ordered her to leave Pekin. Oi believe myself that whin she do go she will Yave Shanghai where ut is; if th' Akittyshimmy will let ut. 'There no truth in th' story iv another attack on th' fleet in Port Arthur. 'Th' gallant Japs havin' destroyed ut once already, is waiting' back to let th' War Corryspondints settle how twas reelly.done. Some more corryspondints has arriv', an' tis roomered that wan iv thun has ordered a new pair iv boots. This may mean that th' war is to be pushed on immejnt, or that ho needed thun, ai think probly so myself. 'Th' poppylation iv Chefoo is gein's on for two hundherd, mostly war corryspondints. an' th' price iv licker is on th' upgrade. 'Th' Chinese army under Gineral Ma is on strike again th' off'cors, an's crossed th' river to strike for Imp'ror, home, and club-footed beauty as many iv th' Rooshians as they c'n catch, an' this is prob'ly another rasen why th' Japs is holding' back, bein' sports to th' backbone. Annyhow, tis th' slowest war ther's bin since th' opening iv th' campaign, an' I'm thinking' iv gettin' up a boxing' match at me saloon, to relayve, as th' papers say, 4h' teojum iv waiting,"
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.