To the Editor of the "Norra-Caima Day Newi Sin,—Place aux dames! It is highly gratifying to see so much good sense (and that by " woman) and good feeling as displayed in the letter suggesting a charity ball; and although I have a club foot and never dance any more, and am, he-sides, fortunately, outside the fighting ring, I will nevertheless willingly contribute my share to the proposal—if it comes off. But I have my doubts about the sanity of the noncombatants in relation to such a novel suggestion. Yous vertary remained inactive with regard to organizing the unorganized mob. Ergo, An American" does not hit the nail on the head, but somewhere abaft the starboard quarters.
I think this spitting is scandalous too; but I regret the moderation of your correspondent "Resident." I would go a step further and deprive the Chinese of the right to breathe on The Bund or anywhere else where Iam near; for the aroma of garlic discharged by some of them, not only through wide nostrils but also through open capacious mouths, is becoming insufferable. Still, I think your correspondent is somewhat inaccurate the distance within ed to the risk of being spat upon a dozen times in the same number of yards." Unfortunate man! And this on The Bund and in Nanking Road! Well, for about thirty-three years I must have passed up and down those thoroughfares several hundred thousand times, and yet I have been lucky enough never to have been spat upon.
Possibly the immunity from being spat upon which has so far attended my long residence may he due to the fact that I have gauged the expectorative intervals more accurately than your correspondent. Upon careful analysis I find that the risk of being spat upon by the Chinese in passing up The Bund and down Nanking Road figures out at the rate of thirteen yards per spitting. The discrepancy of one yard between the calculations of your correspondent and mine makes all the difference, and this disoreponey probably explains why he is being spat upon and I am not, But woe betide the man—Chinese —who would upset my calovlations.
I am, ete, Shanghai, Deo. 10.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.