From out the dim recesses of the Jast, comes the haunting refrain of an old negro spiritual" which tells how "Old Noah, he did build and belong. to Gideon's Band, were's Muh heart, an" dere's'maia hand—L90-00-00kin' fo-ah a ho-0-ome, 'The last line to be very tremulous, please, so as to draw tears from even Wayfoong's bronze lions. For in a day' or two we are to be ruthlessly' east forth from quarters so convenient and comfortable that we are' now hopelessly spoiled. However, min proposes and the landlord quickly disposes. So we go about Humming the above ref so feel-that our visage a veritable war map limned by te which only makes hard ap at us, "The minutes before The barefaced pre-
Hope which, when deferred, maketh the heart sick, yet which springs eternal from the human breast, inspires us to sean the class sifed adverts while we ave still in ultra-negligee. Ah, this looks promising: a lady desires a paying guest, But then, are we a paying guest? A hasty' mental review of our finances, and we decide that we ave not, Again, we recall that once when we were a paying gu Paid hostess had the vile cing through our wardrobe, evident-inspired by the programme chitchat called, "What the well-dressed man will wear." Furthermore, she hadn't the faintest conception of how a guest should be fed. No. We resolved to be either a boarder oF
We wait quite a fow minutes before a tousled boy condescends to answer our ring. "Bississy have got?" "Who mississy 2" We recall that this is a boarding house and that miss—fssies galore doubtless reside here, we mention the name in the advertisement, only to Team that that mississy sold the establishment at a handsome profit Just as we wore getting out our riesha, and that another mitsissy now presides over it)
her stead. At this juncture, lady herself appears,—Was the advertisement authentic? Oh, yes, indeed. The room was ex: ceptionally desirable, and the bath was conve runtly reached by climbing along several window ledges and then over the roofs of two adjoining buildings.
We decide that this style ig {8 too strenuous for us, are the lady's feelings by ing that we forgot to mention that we have a boa-constrictor for pet. Has she any objection to boa-constrictors? It develops that she has. Good old Archimedes, our i pet! We have never seen him but twice, and then we were rather far gone; but he never fails to let us out nicely when occasion demands, We decide that we had better be a tenant, rather than a boarder. The morning paper has hinted at a spot where one might be a tenant. Our heart sinks as we view the building: but i's most at-ye dwellings are not famer for exteriors. Our optimism proves to be fully justified, for here is the first really commodious built-in clothes closet we have ever encountered in the East. It even has a We voice our apprecia glowing terms to our guide, and inquire for: the room itself. He looks a puzzled, and then tells us that we: have just been praising the room. We mi away from there Completely discouraged, we resolve that the quarters shall seek us instead of our seeking them. Wherefore, we advertise: "Gentleman requires suite of tio rooms with Private modern bath in Central district: building must have been ereeted A. D., and be equipped with lift and roof garden: hot water to be: to exceed $10 per month." evident that we are not a gentleman, we receive no replies.
Very well, we shall return to the hotel life which we loathe, At east we shall have a place where we sleep and eat, Brilliant ides this, if only... What prompted our' original enthusiasm over the arrival ps, we wonder? Not that we have anything against the troops: But must they have: officers? Yes, we suppose they must, and that these have to live somewhere, Hope continues to spring, eternal; and we have another inspiration. We indite a letter to an exalted authority.—"Sir,—The undersigned, being white, over 21, and free of all encumbrances save the normal allow ance of clothing, his previous con-ion of servitude having been as hereinunder mentioned, desires a permit to impersonate Diogenes nightly on the Bund between the hours of 11 and 5, am, The posed tub is of such and such dimensions, hence convenient for; stowing during the daytime in a receptable near by which is marked,.C, Sandbin." As the writer requires uninterrupted sleep, he will greatly appreciate special orders to the effect that no fire apparatus shall proceed along the Bund during the hours stated. He further proposes to bathe in the Huangpu regularly at 5.30 a.m, mean Siderial time." We are delighted with the promptness of the reply; but this, unfortunately, reads, "Just try it' on and see what happens to you.
Comes next dear friend with the confidential information that a certain firm having been forced by. China's playfulness to economize, there will be @ room available on such and such date. We hustle to make inquiries. These bear out our friend's tip. The only obstacle is that for the sum required to make the "room" into a habitable dwelling, we could easily purchase two or three small houses.
Our last expedition leaves us precisely where we were. We were lured by one of those "buses and trams pass the door" advertisements. They. do: but it is the door of a building at least one mile from the place advertised." Wherefore.
Bed'here's mah hearty aa dere's mah sou belong to Gideon's Band,
and Loo-00-00kin'fo-ah a ho-o.ame
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.