What I don't want, as an officer of the Municipal Council, in my Christmas stocking, is _a-plenty," declared Mr. Stirling Fessenden, Chairman of that body, "I simply won't consider "having another war wished on us as a gift, for the first thing, Then I wouldn't take kindly to slackers, the peace-time variety 43 well as the war-time breed, The Uninformed Critic, too, is something we could get along without nicely, Intelligent criticism, of course, is always a good thing; but to have people who know nothing of the subject in hand berate' public officials for not carrying on with omniscience and omnipotence is something I don't want for Christ-
'But personally? That's quite a different thing. Christmas doesn't mean much to a lonely bachelor, Really, the only thing I can think of at the' moment is something that I would like, and that would be something, preferably some improved mechanical device that could buy my. Christmas presents for me, select greeting cards, attend to the delivery end all that. "And yes, the most im-Portant barb of all, pay my social calls. It's not that I wouldn't enjoy doing all that myself you unde stand, but what is a busy man to do? Now a married man can ways make his wife leave cards for him and the hostesses think that's quite all right; but when I suggest Putting on my chauffeur to leave my. cards, they say it won't do at all The interviewer made haste to suggest the obvious solution, but Mr. Fessenden nervously waved away the thought: "No, no," he demurred, "that would involve too mulch—besid Christmas presents we didn't want, and I should be Grateful for being remembered with anything?" scoffed the cynical could you be thankful pair of vivid pink and blue sleeve garters, which I just noted in 4 Chinese shop on Szechuen Road? they would make you "Such a gift," interrupted the 'Chairman sternly, "would be considered not only' as a breach of etiquette, but a gross impropriety id as such would be prosecuted the full extent of the social cod "Well then," faltered the abashed terviewed, "you remember the love-present that was sent to the "Phree Wise Fools.' How would to find on your door-step on morning a holly-decked basket, with a beautiful little baby top!" thundered Mr, Fessenden, lat certainly would be just about the last thing on earth I should want for a Shanghai Christmas."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.