(By "A Mere Man")
Ring! Ring!
Central is silent.
Ring! Ring! Ring!
Central remains silent for a fur ther five minutes. Then the opera-for, having related the latest singsong scandal to his colleagues, betrays a little interest in his duty. Operator: What number do you want?
We: West six seven three.
Operator: West six seven three 4 We: Yes, West six seven three. A few minutes elapse. The operator then returns to the fray Operator: You want West si7 seven three?
We: Yes, West sic seven three Operator: Wait a minute please.
We, wait two. The operator comes again.
Operator: You want west sx seven. three?
We (resignedly): Yes, that's just what I want.
A further few minutes elapse. The slave of inefficiency seems to be at work at last. We hear a whirring sound which makes ur think that the connexion is being made, But we "re disappointed.
Operator: You want West six seven three?
We: Confound you yes, and hurry up. (Patience has become restive).
After a while a voice—a sweet one this time—is heard.
Voice: Hello! (We recognize 1t: we are thrilled We: Is that Alice?
Voice (languidly, somehow). Yes, Who is—We: Alice darling, this is Tommy speaking. Would you care to_come—Voice (hardly as responsive as we wish; but indignantly, decidedly indignantly): How dare you address me like that! How dare you! Wha are you?
We are conscious only of the fact that some dreadful misconnexion has been made.
We (feebly): I beg your pardon. Is'nt that West six seven three?
Voice:
This is Fast six seven Ring! We curse. Patience, that estimable virtue, shows signs of Panic.
Ring! Ring! Ring!
Operator: What number do you want? j.. We: (We can't print this.—Ed.) Give me four nine nine. without permission.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.