Always Courteous Serceant—"What would you do if an appeal came through for volun teers?"
Recruit would step aside and Jet them pass."
Evolution
have a gig and a gal!"
"ar was Grandad's ambition to ""Yes, and Dad wanted to have a fiver' and a flapper."
"And the son will probably want a plane and a Jan More Practical "Ip I were you," a jeweller advised a youth, "I wouldn't have 'George to his dearest 'Alice' engraved on the Ting. If Alice changes her mind, you can't use the ring again.
"What would you suggest?" asked the young man.
"Lwould suggest the words, George, to his frst and. only love.
The Explanation Wnex Freddie handed in his hom work the teacher examined closely.
set hat looks suspiciously like, your father's handwriting, Freddie," he "what ave you got replied Freddie, aver tony' pause, "now 1 come to, think of Bea his fountain pen His Experience Two women waiting for a bus, wale was nearly full when it came RGom for one inside and one on top." sato the conductor But surely you wouldn't separate Shire road when it suddenly" pulled hogging along
tp with a screech of brakes opposite fan, old countryman, Say," said" the driver, nasally, ein you tell if Tam. ight for W,, "Shakespeare's house?"
yes sir," replied the yokel, "but there's no need to hurry—he's been dead these many years All Conveniences On Farmer Brown, on his firet visit to London, was greatly interest-all he saw. Stopping at the corner of a street to light his pipe, man was carrying, Giles lit his pipe and returned it, saying "ay. it's a wonderful, place, London, Everything's handy."
Presumably A woman was asked the usual {questions by the Customs om cial at the eross-Channel_ landing-place.
"anything, to declare?" he said, thrusting a list into her hand, She: read. it, she sweetly replied, vent got any of these things."
"Then,, madam," he asked very. quietly, "am T to take it that the fur tail T see hanging down from under the back of your coat is you own?"
Not Offended Wnincinc her hands despairingly, the hhsiess approached the foreign musician.
"Oh, dear." she sighed, "I do hope Jmy husband wasn't rude when he ished you not to play!"
The musician beamed at her, "No, no, no," he replied. """E ask not to play a certain tune:
"What did he say?" she asked, puzzled.
""E say, Don't play "For the Love The Explanation Ir has been discovered, professor ponderously, human body, contains sulphur "Sulphur" exclaimed a girl stu-"How much sul phur lo there in a girl's body, pri fe shrugged his shoulders.
Oh, the amount varies, of course,"
replied.
"<1 se0," she went on; "and is that why some of us make better matches than others For Young Mother Mrs. Elzire Dionne—who knows about babies for the same reason that John D. Rockefeller knows about money—gave a tip to young mothers. "Babies cry," she said authoritatively, "for two reasons. Either they're uncomfortable or thi want to see who's boss. It they just want to find of who's boss, tie a cloth tight around the baby's mid-lo. Tt can't get a deep breath and will stop crying." And it will only. try it once."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.