Revealing Scor (10 friend while visiting Lon-dom): "Nac, mon, 1 can't. stand taxlcabst When T sit wi" ma back tae the driver it makes me feel sick, and when I sit wi" ma face tae the taxi meter it makes me feel nae better.
Endless "Sur told me you told her what 1 told you not to tell hei "Oh, isn't she mean! TI told her not to tell you I told her."
"Well, don't you ell her I told you she told me."
Husband Ins, Smith: "I wonder if 1 could borrow your rug-beater, Mrs. Brown?"
Mrs. Brown: "I'm sorry, Mrs. Smith, but he doesn't get home till Woolworth 'A young couple applied for a marriage licence.
"The young lady is not a minor, she? asked the suspicious registrar.
"Oh, no," replied the prospective groom, "She works in the five-and-ten."
The Key Par and his "ould woman" were out for an evening stroll, and were sauntering placidly along when a neighbour rushed up and cried, "Saints presairve us, Patl Ye mus hurry home. Your house is on fire!
Bedad, an' it's a liar you are," re torted Pat, "T've got the key in me pocket."
Dollar's "Best Buy"
Tue frst money he ever earned, a silver dollar which he received for a day's work on a golf course fourteen years ago at the age of ton, was spent fora marriage lence Lasi month by Jerold E. Oaks, of Claw-son, Michigan. He saved it, he said, "until T could find the most that a dollar would buy, and this lence Coconut 'A ScorsMax, standing at a reftresh= ment bar, was asked what the dlfference was between a Scotsman and coconut, On replying that he- dia know, he was told "You can get 4 drink out of a coconut." The Scotsman, quick to reply to an insult, asked his questioner if he would Uke a drink, "Yes," replied the other. and' get yourself a coanswered the Scotsman, Measles Tu truant amicer hod. enlisted the support of the local proprietors of Amusement places to help keep the children in school, One afternoon a small boy approached the ticket office of a movie theater to buy "And why are you not in school?" asked the cashier.
"Oh, it's all right." the hoy smiled assuringly. "I've got the measles."
Simple 'A youe lady had never transacted any business in a bank. She hada check for a sizeable amount which the presented for payment to the cashier.
"How do you wish the money?" asked the man behind the iron grille, For a moment the young Indy seemed confused, and then with a happy smile she said:
"Tit just hold out my hand, and you can put the money in it!"
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.