The handicap under which the foreigner in Shanghai labours is his complete inability to check the statements. of his servants, well-run households, of course, the claims of the domestics in regard to sums paid out for the family's food can be roughly compared with the probabilities, but even there it is next door to impossible to make sure that the family is not being "squeezed" in some way or another, In fact, it is a fairly safe bet that the domestic is getting the better of the transaction either by charging big money when he has ald small or by wringing a commission out of the vendor or by some other means beyond the comprehension of his master and mistress, In the circumstances, the wise householder confines himself to limiting the exactions of his helpers to a reasonable amount, and thereby rids himself of the necessity for a lot of spying and unprofitable brain-work. He may know he is losing so much a month, but he looks upon the brighter side and congratulates himself that, at any rate, he is saving brain po ver which his employers pay for at s0 much more an hour or s0 much less a column, And that in the end is what matters, The phenomenon of a servant taking his opportunities to make the most out of his master is not confined to this country, as dwellers in other Asiatic lands can vouch. Kipling has written a classic story of an Indian Naboth, who ate his way slowly but surely into his estate until he had to be kicked out at the height of his prosperity; while the author's stories of the peradventures of a sahib's household ili India would make most other efforts look like cheap imitations. So far as China Is concerned, writers such as Alice Tisdale Hobart and Stella Benson have done very well in depicting the Chinese servant, but this country still lacks. a genius who can depict the troubles of a foreign master with his domestic staff with the accuracy and humour of the great writer on India, To a minor degree, what follows designed to contribute to the material on which the genius will be able to draw, for in all essentials it is a true story. Many years ago, an impecunious couple decided to set up a household on what they could scrape together and, like other impecunious couples before them, moved into a furnished house where there was a domestic who acted in the combined capacities of cook and major dome and guardian of the furniture for those who owned it, This man had a Privileged position, since he was difficult for the impecunious couple to get rid of; and he made the most of it by robbing them right and left in all the household bills. One habit he had which gave him away, since he could never run an errand without a double purpose. As an example, the master might ask him to yo up stairs and get him a clean handkerchief, The servant could not bring himself to do so unless he was fulfilling some other duty as well. He would look desperately round the room for something which ought to be up stairs but which was not, and, if he could find no such thing, was not beneath taking up stairs some of. the mantle-piece pric-a-prac, knowing full well that, when next ordered upon an errand from the rooms up stairs, he could bring that piece down' again. This habit became so deeply engrained that at last he carried away with him reflex camera and a pocket camera belonging to the master and, as he afterwards protested, quite involuntarily, pawned them along with some of his winter clothes—which caused the end of his rule in the household and, incidentally, an almighty row with the owners of the furniture who were not satisfied until they had personally counted the chairs and tables to make sure that the "boy' was not being dismissed to hide up the theft of furniture by the victimized tenants, This old history is a necessary introduction to what follows. For a direct result of the move which the tenants made after this rot there came into their service a. charming old man who brought, ]with him a packet of trouble. For reasons which need not be gone unto too deeply, at that time the tenants had cause to engage an amah, and the charming old man recommended his wife who, as she had had some experience in a hospital, seemed just the person. It is only fair to'record that the master had some doubts when he saw her, since she had a formidable array of gold teeth, and in some circles there is an association between gold teeth and sing-song' girls—or even worse—that even a Dr. Watson could not miss. However, the amah proved satisfactory, resetting the top of a Johnson's Baby Powder tin from half-way' dowa the baby's gullet and doing other things that could not but enhance her value in the eyes of her employers, who valued the tops of Johnson's Baby Powder tins only less than they valued the Mfe of their offspring. So years passed. The time came for the couple to go on Home leave. The servants, then augmented ty a real "boy" who knew all about, serving cocktails and other things important in social life, were paid off with generous gratuities, and. the employers resolved to make a fresh start when they returned to. their labours. But this was not! to be. For within a few days of their Janding and when they had. decided upon a house, the whole of their former staff' descended upon them en masse, though the "boy," at least, was abandoning a very' good job' elsewhere. 'Their arrival coincided with a period of worry, when furniture was being collected and placed in the new house, compradore accounts were being' reopened, and there was the general business of settling into' new surroundings. Therefore the return of the servants was wel-
Years passed, again. There Jcame a demand for additional rent for the new house, which the master indignantly Tefused; so the whole family, a little greyer, a little more harassed-looking, moved to new premises, the domestic problem trailing along behind. On closer acquaintance the new Premises did not prove satis factory, doors and windows opening in unexpected ways, door-handles being so placed that the fingers were pinched when they were turned, and unsuspected demons giving violent shocks when the electric light was turned on or off. In addition there arose several problems which might have been still-born had the family exercised its indubitable right to be firm at the beginning. 'The first of these was the servants' quarters. These were larger than in the former home, but were in pitiable state of disrepair. While they were being done up, the "old man" and his wife were permitted to sleep in the garage, part of which was also used as a storehouse for furniture which could not be distributed round the house until a painting job had been properly done. The result might have been foreseen, but was not. When the time came for the servants' quarters to be occupied, the "boy" moved in plus incumbronces. The main incumbrance was a rather good-looking wife who thought all sorts of things of the amah's gold teeth, and provoked all sorts of replies by her outspoken manner of expressing' her thoughts. It became quite impossible for the "old man" to move into servants' quarters, the incumbrance proving the better tongue-wagger when it came to in-fighting. So the garage was turned into a permanent home for the "old man" and family, as the master indignantly discovered one night when, returning from the Shanghai equivalent of a bump] supper, he found himself stumbcomed as the saving of a lot of ling over recumbent forms, strewn other thought and worry, and they about in the summer stillness in were re-engaged. Parenthetically, something of the manner of the the employers never found out
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.