Tur wife of a wealthy man had occasion to call in the help of a floor polisher, "Do you understand your business thorough-
YYA I ask, madam, is that you enquire for yourself at my last situation. On the floor of the large drawing-room alone five persons broke their limbs during last winter, and a lady slipped down the grand staircase. It was I who polished the floor and stairs."
Too True Thk new arrival at the hotel was proving rather difficult, "The proprietor says, madam," said the hotel clerk, after a tirade from the lady, "that he will move your dressing-table, alter the position of your bed, let you have another blanket, and provide some wedges for your windows, Also he is going to stop the clock striking on the landing, and give you a separate table at the window—but he is afraid that he can do nothing about the weather, and you will have to take that as you find it, Duke TnoucH it must have been hushed up at the time, it seems that last spring, according to a publication known as the "Kable Newsgram," the Duke of Windsor gave permission to a couple of boys in Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, Canada, to name their business establishment after him.
The establishment is therefore known as "The Duke of Windsor Billiard Academy," and it is royally appointed, with royal purple covers on the tables and gold billiard balls. So the Duke, if he ever drops in, will probably feel perfectly at home, "Please Excuse"
A cHORUS-GmL introduced her boy friend to another girl in the same show, with the result that he transferred his affections, The aggrieved girl sent her rival a letter in which she gave her a piece of her mind.
"You heartless creature," it began, "you knew very well that Bill was my boy friend and we had been going about together for over a year. You just wait till I get my hand on you, you peroxide blonde. TU scratch your face, pull out all your hair, and throw acid all over you to spoil your beauty.
"P.S.—Please excuse pencil,"
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.