A Maw sent for his butler to reprimand him, "Jenkins," he said, "the cook advises me that you were badly intoxicated last night, and that you were trying to roll a barrel out of the basement, Is this true?"
"Yes, sir, I'm afraid it is," replie® the butler, And where was I during this time?"
the barrel, sir."
Sound in the Night "Soctery's going wild about him, He can pile 700 matches on a bottle-top!"
"Pardon me for speaking when you interrupted."
"She wants a divorce—she's tired of being unfaithful to the same man."
"Don't be insulted—but is it your job to spread ignorance?"
"She comes from good stock—U. S, Steel and General Motors."—Walter Winchell, Education First Student; "Let's cut classes to-day and go to a show."
Second Student: "Can't do it. I need the sleep."
So You'll Know Guossary of a newspaper writer who has been instructed to make his copy colourful: Actress—international stage favourite; aviator—famous overseas ace; girl—beautiful young society debutante; boy—scion of wealthy (Plattsburg, Podunk, Newport, etc.) socialites; start a probe—launch a double-barrelled investigation; word-heeler—distinguished statesman; London barroom singer—European nightingale.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.