Counset: Did you see the car's flapper come out?
Witness: No, sir, I did not see a lady in the car.
Solicitor: When you saw the car coming at you, why did you not hasten?
Woman: I was on this earth before motor cars.
Man: I have never known a day's happiness since my wife imported her mother to live with us.
Sir Stafford Cripps, K.C.: A declaration of war is not now considered necessary. It hus gone out ai fashion.
Mr. Justice Goddard: I believe opposing troops used to draw up and salute each other at one time, Witness: My landlady said she had the power to turn me out, but she had not reckoned on my wife —"Daily Herald."
The Sweep Again "Cor stone me," said the Sweep. "So you're going to America?
"That's right," I said.
"Cor erikey," said the Sweep, "you could knock me down with a steam ammer. Cor suffering' s ^I suppose you'll be working your passage, doing a bit of typing for the captain," said the Sweep. "You never know when that there typing might come in useful"
"You certainly don't" I said.
"But you'll ave to look out when you git to New York," said the Sweep. "They're pretty of out there."
"'Of's the word," I said.
"Why," said the Sweep, "some of them there lady typists could make rings round you."
"Thay could and all," I said.
And I reckon the captain would sooner ave one of them in his cabin coming ome than an old bald ead like you," said the Sweep.
"Too true, mate," I said.
"Peraps you'll see some of them there film stars" said the Sweep.
"Peraps," I said, "You can ave em all" said the Sweep.
"Thank you," I said.
"Except Mae West" said the Sweep.
"You can bring er back for me."
"AN right," I said.
"I reckon we'd git on very nicely together," said the Sweep. "Cor luvaduck, what a piece she is."
"What a piece," I said.
"Something you could git old of, if you know what I mean," said the Sweep.
"I know," I sai "Or perhaps she might ask me over to sweep ver chimneys," said the Sweep. "Cor, stone me up a gum tree."
"Cor," I said.
"Fancy me sweeping 50 storeys with me old brush," said the Sweep. "Cor strike me red, white and blue,"
sai Cor strike me red, white and blue, too," I
—Nat Gubbins in the "Sunday Express,
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.