AMERICAN pan so affluent. as they used to be. On stands they are eatin cheaper cigars have their suits patched after shooting from the pocket instead of throwing them away Well, Well, Well A cat which curled itself up on the back of a car and refused to be dislodged de-motorist half an hour in Hampstead recent; We have heard of cars being water-logged, but not cat-alogued.
American scientists have been making tests to decide whether the colour of a driver's eyes make any difference to his capabilities on the road. Best efficiency, says the report, is shown black The efficiency of the Sgressor, we esume. item reads: "New Motor Lorry s in Yugoslavia." ver here, too, so why the oman motorist in court: the "Although constable was polite I was not deceived. T know policemen are only friendly to other policemen."
The Sweep Surprised "I see they're thinking of making little old Inskip Lord Chancellor," said The Sweep.
"That's right," I said.
"Because they thought he wasn't no good as Minister of Defence they want to raise him to £10,000 a year with a £5,000 a year pension, said The Sweep. "Cor stone me up a gum tret, it shows you what goes on, don't it "It do," I said.
If he'd been a Rooshian," said The Sweep, "little old Stalin might tave put im up again a wall."
"Quite likely," I said.
"It shows you ow nice and kind we are to people," said The Sweep.
"Don't it?" I said.
"So long as they're the best people," said The Sweep.
"That's right," I said.
"I wonder what would oppon to time if I couldn't sweep chimneys?" asked The Sweep.
"I don't know," I said.
"Or, suppose you couldn't spell them there long words on your little old typewriter," said The Sweep.
I can't," I said.
"Well, they ain't made you the ead typist for that," said The Sweep.
"They certainly ain't" I said.
"And they wouldn't give me a pension be-LI cause I knew nothing about chimneys," said The Sweep.
"Not likely," I said.
"Unless you call the dole a pension," said The Sweep. "Cor suffering snakes."
"Cor," I said.
"Still that aint the right spirit, said The Sweep.
"What aint?" I asked.
"Grumblin about another man's luck," said The Sweep. "Cor crikey you ought to be shamed of yourself. Why don't you drink is alth "Al right," I said.
"Any excuse to ave another," said The Sweep.
'o little old Inskip."
"To little old Inskip," I said, "Ten thousand a year for being a square peg in a round ole," said The Sweep. "Cor strike me red, white and blue, it makes you think, don't it?"
"It certainly do," I said.—Nat Gubbins in the "Daily Express,"
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.