Tie doctor said, "He ought to drink wine, it's strengthening and stimulating. Champagne age it. Of course.
So The Nest, which is usually full of empty beer bottles, was suddenly full of golden-headed bottles, looking like blondes who had come too early for a party, writes Nat Gubbins in the "Sunday Express." The sound of corks pop-ving in the kitchen was like distant gun fire, ud Sally the Cat, who thought the war had arted, took sheller for two days in the tool hed.
Your jolly Uncle Nat often wondered how he rich live. For years he has nurtured secret ambition to get as "drunk as a lor an expression devised when only lords could afford to get drunk) and to be carried shouting ud singing to bed by six stalwart footman.
So when this lucky break came he thought he would experience some of the joys which ere reserved for the rich, But the poor silly feather-brain forgot that on cannot drink champagne alone, any more a party by yourself. you have probably heard before, women and song, as biscuits go with hoose and mint sauce with lamb, And although your uncle has always realized at women are intolerable without wine, he ever realized before that wine is intolerable without women.
[He would like to say that these rema: epp'y to wine only, and not to beer or spirits.)
So, in his ignorance, he sat alone in his room pliny tke golden liquid which banishes all care, There was no song but the occasional histiing of errand boys at the back door.
There were no women but the maid-of-no-work who brought up the bottles. After each bottle she looked a little less glamorous and 3 little more frightened.
And as for your uncle, he became more and more depressed with each glass. The bottles on the floor now began to look like dumb blondes who had passed out without contributing any-hing to the entertainment. The only thought which occupied his mind was unpaid income tax.
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.