The Archive · 1936

Handy Substitute

Tosaay's Sister: "Tommy, what is 8 synonym?"

"A synonym," said Tommy wisely, a Word you use when you can't spell the other one." of) 20 River of South] 2 This dangerous " America ake 0 the gout gtr 16 This its} from. Bim will} of 18 across Hs|24 What buy after the heart Fat'be ich" In 3 Confusion of Helps tovsmoot former cectanty is head,"'pro- "more than "a 9 Diminish things "over" of the ¢ Trap 8 Suet june. get 7 Motmat provided) aireetion' of 39 When In retreat this" arent, stern g anita an hose Tooke' ik 1 This. prebistorte Kind of! vereta=

44 The lady who tion ive.

came. from Adam 36 Turn up again gather fruit 38 The Tocal' tinge 33 Speakers tke this. repeated.

34 acter tis be'known ™ 7 result "to tue 30 One of the goat fanny 1|31 Aforelgner in Too Bad Tue instructor, having delivered 2 lecture on parachute work, concluded, "And it it doesn't open—well, that is what is known as jumping to a conclusion.'"

Ordinary Disrexsinc Chemist (m "Boy, bring me New Boy: "I can't see one, sir! WU any fly do In The Dark"

Boss: "For a man with no experi ence you asi high wages."

"Applicant: "Well, sir, it's much harder work when' you' don't know anything about, it"

Alter Curfew "Poon Mrs. Brown, what a tite:

7 7 her husband never comes home before four in the morning."

"How do you know?"

"He. always brings my husband 7

Not Worth It Tue hired man asked little Johnny to pass the salt, Looking at his mother, the boy "Shall T give him the salt?" he whispered, "Daddy said he wasn't worth It"

Unless I was during the grammar lesson, Sald the teacher, "Always remem: ber, boys, that the word with' is a very bad' word to end a sentence with. I-ah—that is to say—ah, ur less you have nothing else to end it with."

Other Noise Mamex Aunt (to her nephew, a poor preacher): why did ae "James" said the old lady, anxiously, "are you sure it wasn't some other noise you heard?"

Unbelieveable

Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.

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