By Timasyuwus "But I want to see Charlie Peace." '""Bre you come along 'o me. 'E's a neaea-rsly child!"
That may not be the correct version of the passage, but those who remember seeing "The Whip, produced many years ago at Drury Lane, will recall the Cockney heer at Madame Turvaud's, with the perspiring tea-and-shrimp fed family, and the small boy who badly wanted to see everything to be seen in the Chamber of Orrors.
The last time we visited the place was at an age when the only exhibit calculated to impinge itself for ever on the memory was that of the Sleeping Beauty, with the old nurse sitting at her head, who} would be watching the gentle rise and fall of her charge's bosom had the Bad' Fairy's curse mot also closed her eyes in lengthy slumber.
Tt was while coming along Baker Street, where, it is said on the best of authority, Sherlock' Holmes used. to shoot himself with the hypodermlc,- that the knowledge was. suddenly brought in upon us by the youngest of the party, that there would be somewhat of a wait for the train at the station at the fend of the road, and the young, being what they' always were—20 natural that they abhor a vacuum—Susgested that the tearooms, part of the institute established in 1833 by Marie Gresholtz, who married Francois Tussaud in 1795, might be availed of to rectify the error of Which nature by. that' time was rapidity of a well thought out plan of campaign.
"Why can't we go in and see Madame Tussaud's while we are waiting."
had come! It would have been cheaper to have satisfied the insatiable maw at the Chiltern Hotel) when all was said and done, but it was easier to surrender than argue, and before one could say "Jack Robinson," or make any equally; foolish remark, the three of the party had passed the turnstile.
Ascending the main staircase the visitor first sees an attendant uni-_ formed in white pointing the way! upward. One glance and the writer' sniggered a self-satisfied snigger. He could tell wax from flesh and blood, and he swept the party on their way with "the one contemptuous word "Wax!"
They were frankly incredulous, and, despite the huge mass in the seat of the emotions of the youngest of the group, he was prepared to argue. We could write a book on. the necessity of being gentle but firm with the young of the species, but this is neither the time nor the Place. Suffice it to say that a somewhat adroit remark shepherded the party into the Hall of Kings. With exceptions the royalty of England were a plain lot. 'Their clothes helped them considerably, but, without a doubt, if they' were! arrayed in the habiliments of today they would not only fail to pass in a crowd, but it is quite possible that bus conductors would refuse to allow them to board their vehicles, while if they were out after dark the police would "take them in" for loitering.
It was a fatal mistake to agree.
would have been better to have ate in the "refayned" atmosphere the Chiltern Hotel, a little distance away, There would have been dim Nights, probably better crockery; the cakes would have been as genteel in their smatiness as their cost was large; the service would be quiet footed and perhaps sympathetic, but it has to be noted that whatever changes may have taken place in England, the cubic capacity of the young—especially when it comes to cakes, and such like confections—has inno way diminished. Consequently to protect a pocket already shattered by a ravaging demand for postage stamps, it was decided to take the young hopeful to the somewhat less "refayned" establishment attached to the waxworks show, There is now tea but no shrimps, The tenderest enquiries as to the possibility of obtaining the dim-mutive crustacean, brought only a snort of disgust from the waitress who very obviously suffered from adenoids, and it was either "Devonshire tea" or "tea and cakes." It was possible to obtain other dishes, but such fruit as a sardine on toast is disdained by British youth who look with contempt on clotted cream and demand cakes and plenty of them. Those, who have made a study of feeding. the young, will state emphatically that, while the more urgent needs of appetite are being satisfied, there a concentration on the matter immediately in hand which would do justice to higher things, but that when the first stoking is complete the mind is apt to wander. Such was the case on this afternoon. A meal which would have reduced anyone of riper years to a condition of benevolent somnolence merely served as food for thought and an incitement to curiosity.
The only exhibit which attracted our attention was of Henry VIII surrounded by his wives, six of them, counting from left to right or right'to left. Henry, known as the "Bighth I am," failed utterly to ook his part. He was well dressed, but, surrounded as he was by most depressing-looking group of! womenfolk, no man could hope to look his best, Particularly admire able was Catherine Parr who, to do her credit, looked as if she were fully aware that heads were for other things besides cutting off, Frankly, if the former royally of England looked no better than there fare here made to appear it is just as well that Daguerre lived to invent photography when he did, or did he?
The nephew was fed up, He was caught whispering to his mother something which ended with "Hor-tors." Mother gently turned the suggestion aside with a suggestion that the Sleeping Beauty was well worth seeing, and with a deference which by no means hid the depth. of purpose in the young man's mind, he readily agreed.
Coming out of the Hall of Kings there was encountered another attendant in white uniform pointing out the route to be followed. As we passed, we touched the arm of the nephew's mother.
"Look how wonderful the artist's technique 1s," we remarked. "Just notice the texture of the skin on. the man's neck. It's excellent'
"Yes, sit. And what is more it was washed this morning, The attendant smiled at us, the mother just betrayed amusement, while the nephew roared with laughter. It is a pathetic fact that the average child can never be provided with enough food to blind him to a joke against his elders.
We moved on hurriedly, while a Sunday school, obviously up from the country, tittered in our wake, afraid, uncle,"—the number of avuncular relationships that we manage to enter into on a holiday in England has. to be seen to be believed. "I am afraid uncle that. we have been so long at tea, that you will not be able to catch your train, unless you run, and' you wouldn't like to have to run, would you?"
That remark was not so much a reflection on the handicap on speed. as the result of an accumulation of this too, too mortal flesh, as a delayed opening for further developments, which followed with a The young hopeful was not impressed with the Sleeping Beauty. He was much taken with the fact that she was asleep in her day clothes and wanted to know why, her nurse had not made her put on her pyjamas before going to bed. To tell him that in those days young ladies did not wear such garments meant nothing for the very obvious reply was "Well, they' do now."
And $0 to the Hall of Tableaux. King John signing the Magna Carta meant nothing to the young man. The murder of the small princes merely evoked an expression of
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.