Mikz and Pat decided to go to a boxing match. One of the fighters was standing up so pluckily to a rare pasting that the crowd roared its approval. Mike turned to Pat arid exclaimed:
"Well, at any rate, the crowd is with him."
Pat nodded grimly. "Aye," he said, "and I bet the poor civil wishes he was with the crowd."
"Absent Minded"
Tue professor was in the habit of allowing his dog to sit on a chair beside him at meal times, One evening he was out to dinner. The lady sitting next to him, wishing to attract his attention, gently touched his sleeve.
Absent-mindedly the professor picked up. a bone from his plate and, without turning his head, held it out to her and said: "Oh, don't worry so. Take this on the mat and eat it."
Heard in Court—
Defendant at Tottenham: The constable was such a nice fellow that he altered my views on policemen; in fact, I was glad I was summoned.
NorrGHAM Man (of motor patrol policeman): I don't want to say anything disrespectiul of his bad driving.
Defendant at Tottenham: I deny striking you, Complainant: You struck me in my kit. chen. Defendant; You're a liar. It was in the hall, Man: When the little boy saw his father.receive the blow he clapped his hands and shouted, "Hurrah, dad, now you will get £100 damages Husband: When I heard the rattle of crockery I dressed and came downstairs thinking that breakfast was ready, but all I found was broken cups and plates and a letter from my wife saying "Cheerio."
Text read from the printed page and cleaned; old type leaves the occasional error.